Humor Monologue delivered at Toastmasters meeting – October 15, 2014

Read the set-up below and then read the humor monologue.

THE SET-UP (What was said and what happened during the meeting before the monologue was delivered)

1. Out of 25 members, only 10 attended the meeting.

2. Justina said that she is a lawyer who doesn’t want to go to court. Since she is a lawyer, all the people who she meets would say “When I am in trouble, you can save me”. But she doesn’t like it and she would respond, “No, I won’t help”. I evaluated her speech and I summarized as ‘Wow’.

3. Inna said that she would like her manager to be a good coach too.

4. Rubin gave a speech in which he was holding his hands to his back all the time. He said he’s German; he likes to be a good coach; and he likes humor.

5. Bogdan said Toastmasters is a place full of people from different background. e.g. Mark from Technical background, Bala (me) more from humor background, Inna giving insightful speeches, etc and it helps gain different perspective. He also asked us to visit other clubs.

6. Word of the day was ‘Exuberant’ which means energetic. Julia said exuberant may also be used to denote woman with more curves (slang word).

7. While the meeting was going on, the security guard of the building entered, checked something, said something in Dutch and left.

8. Rick said Justina’s speech was waterfall of words.

The Humor Monologue

1. Good evening technical person, Lawyer, and insightful woman.

2. I am sporting a big beard. I want to protect my face because the winter is coming.

3. Like Bogdan said, visit other clubs, so that you will get to see many exuberants (woman with curves).

4. Rubin said he’s German and he likes humor. German and humor don’t fit well in the same sentence.

5. Do you know why I chose humor as my specialization at Toastmasters? Because I am very bad at mathematics. I can make people laugh and practice counting their teeth.

6. Out of 25 members, 15 didn’t show up. They are toastmasters who don’t want to go to Toastmasters meetings.

7. Hey, Inna, you’ve found your manager at this meeting itself. It’s Rubin, who likes to become a good coach.

8. Justina doesn’t play tennis, volley ball, basket ball. Because then she will have to go to the court.

9. When the security guard entered this room, I thought I was in a biggg trouble. I was about to ask Justina, “Could you help me?”

10. Rick copied my evaluation on Justina’s speech and repeated my lines. I said ‘WOW’. And he said ‘Waterfall Of Words’.

11. Rubin held his hands to his back. Do you know why? Because he’s giving his speech in front of a lawyer.

Humor Monologue delivered at Toastmasters meeting – October 1, 2014

Read the set-up below and then read the humor monologue.

THE SET-UP (What was said and what happened during the meeting before the monologue was delivered)

1. All the 13 members who attended the meeting were male. There was a guest. Her name is Mirjam.

2. Mirjam said that she feels little uncomfortable and it would be nice to have some lady company. Bart said there are many lady members, but they didn’t attend today.

3. Rick gave a speech. He said he loves big garden. He said he once had beer in Belgium.

4. Bart gave a speech from the storytelling series. Toastmaster-of-the-evening said that Bart’s speech progress is impressive. i.e. he did 11 speeches within 1 year. That’s like 1 speech every other meeting. Bart’s speech evaluator said he used too many pauses in the speech.

5. The general evaluator said that most speakers were dancing on the stage. i.e. walking too much.

6. One of the tabletopics was “How to catch a flight?”

The Humor Monologue

1. Hello lady & gentlemen.

2. Hey Mirjam, you are at the wrong club. This is “Toastmasters”, a club full of men. You should go to Toastmistresses.

3. When I joined Toastmasters, I saw a club full of men. I was not comfortable. But then Chris said that there are many ladies in the club. That was a trap.

4. Rick loves garden a lot. Do you know what beer he had in Belgium? It’s Hoegaarden.

5. Bart used too many pauses in his speech. But he doesn’t use any pause in between one speech and another. He’s raining speeches.

6. The speakers were dancing? Yes, it was really after the break… after they had too many beers.

7. I can go on and on, but hey I have to catch a flight. Thank you.

Humor Monologue delivered at Area Contest – September 28, 2014

Read the set-up below and then read the humor monologue.

THE SET-UP (What was said and what happened during the meeting before the monologue was delivered)

1. I participated in the Humor Speech contest. During which, I told in a funny way that audience sleep whenever I give speeches.

2. The topic for the Tabletopics contest was “Why should we ban TV?”

3. One of the contestants said, “I do my thing (giving speech). You do your thing (judging). I’ll not make it (the fact of judging) hold me from giving a good speech.

4. One of the contestants said that she is too short, so she can’t get any stuff from the top shelf in the supermarket. To not embarrass herself, she always buys things from the middle shelf.

5. The Dutch Tabletopics contest’s topic was “You have been kidnapped by a terrorist organisation. They ask for 2 million Euros. You have 10 minute time to make a video to send to people. You should convince people to donate money for you.”

6. One of the contestants said that once she was lost and someone helped her find her way.

The Humor Monologue

1. Hello Toastmasters, guests, and the people who are still not yet asleep.

2. Ban TV? Why? I have 2 lines to add to what everyone said. I wrote down ‘TV’ on the white board, and added 2 lines to make it look like ‘TM’. Ban TV. Become TM (Toastmaster).

3. When I give a speech, I do my thing and you do your thing. I give speech. And you sleep.

4. If you want people not to buy TVs, ask the store owner to place it in the top shelf.

5. Hello people, I am kidnapped by a terrorist organisation. They want 2 million Euros. Please help me. Please sell all your TVs to raise money. TVs are banned anyway.

6. Actually the people who kidnapped me are not Alqaeda or any terrorist organisation. They are actually TV show hosts who lost their jobs.

7. While getting back home this evening after this contest is over, someone will ask me, “Are you lost?”. I will wonder, “How come you know? There were 3 participants. And yes, I am last”.

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