Humor monologue delivered at Toastmasters meeting in Eindhoven – May 2, 2012

If you don’t know what a Toastmasters meeting is, it’s a meeting where 3 or 4 speakers give a speech on certain topic, 3 or 4 other people will evaluate their speech. There’ll be a person to monitor the timer and alert the speaker when it reaches the limit. There’ll be another person who’ll count the ‘ah’, ‘um’ and any other pause words that the speaker uses in his/her speech. There will also be a table topic, where everyone who attends the meeting should speak about. There will also be a ‘word of the day’, which the speakers can use in their speech.

THE SET-UP (What was said and what happened during the meeting before the monologue was delivered.)

1. That was the first time I attended a Toastmasters meeting… and I attended as a guest. I got in touch with Chris a week before the meeting to know about the details like venue, time etc.

2. The toastmaster of the evening, Navin, while welcoming everyone, said, “Hello fellow Toastmasters and distuinguished guest.”

3. The place where the meeting normally takes place was occupied by someone else, so we were forced to have our meeting in the library.

4. Attendance was very poor that day. Only 9 out of 18 were present at the meeting.

5. The toastmaster of the evening, Navin, mentioned the tabletopic and asked everyone to express their opinion during tabletopics time. As soon as he finished mentioning it, one of the TM (Toastmaster), Mei, started speaking abt it. Navin stopped Mei and said, “Not now. I just said the topic. You can speak about it during the tabletopics.”

6. Remi gave speech about opening a bakery in Eindhoven. He gave free samples of cake to everyone. He asked everyone just to smell the cake, not to eat it. He said it’s a real cake. He let us eat the cake during the break.

7. Zhou gave a brilliant speech on the power of visualization. He told that it’s important to take deep breaths, relax completely before visualizing. He also said that one should not sleep during visualization.

8. Navin, TM of the evening told, “We should not just come to the meeting, deliver the speech, get feedback, and go home. We should also do something to improve the quality of meetings”

9. Djean, who evaluated Zhou’s speech, told that Zhou didn’t move at all during his whole speech. He asked Zhou to move freely and express through body language a lot.

THE MONOLOGUE

Hello distuinguished Toastmasters

Hi Chris, did you say the toastmasters that I’m attending the meeting today as a guest? Seems everyone has escaped. They are lucky that they don’t have to listen to my speech.

Mei, You can interrupt me during my speech. I won’t say anything like Navin did. Because you should ask the person to stop when he speaks in a library.

All the TMs come here just to deliver their speech and get the feedback. That’s not enough. You also should bring a cake.

Visualization works. Trust me. In the morning, I visualized myself eating a delicious cake.

I’m an Indian. For those who have doubt about it, come smell me. I’m real one. I’m newly opened in Eindhoven.

Hi Djean, I partially don’t accept what you said. Zhou might not have moved during his speech, but on the bright side, he moved the audience with his exceptional speech.

Observational humor is simple. Listen to people carefully, make weird connections, and more importantly don’t fall asleep.

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