Humor Monologue delivered at Toastmasters meeting – June 27, 2012

Read the set-up below and then read the monologue.

THE SET-UP (What was said and what happened during the meeting before the monologue was delivered.)

1. The attendance was very poor. Only 6 toastmasters attended the meeting. 3 speakers, 2 evaluators, and I was the Table Topics master.

2. Tobias was the Toastmaster of the evening. He welcomed everyone and addressed me as a guest. Later, Bieneke clarified that I am no more a guest, but rather a member of the Toastmasters club.

3. Word of the day was “Sunshine”

4. Marcel, in his speech, shared a touching story of a son who hated his mother because she had only one eye.

5. Table Topic of the evening was “What tip would you give the speakers to gain attention of audience.” One of the guests, Malar, shared a tip: “Walk towards one of the audience. To gain attention. But not to intimidate.”

6. Tobias gave a tip to gain attention of audience: Stand on a table while beginning the speech.

6. Tobias, while saying a proverb, mistakenly told “Give a fish a man” instead of “Give a man a fish”

7. Remi gave a speech on opening a bakery in Eindhoven and about the investments. While beginning his speech, he asked everyone whether we invest in Stock Market. If we said no, he would ask, “Why? Is is because there is no saving in it or is it too risky?”

8. Remi told that he’d invest a lot in his chain of bakeries and burn cash like anything to achieve 10% Net income.

THE MONOLOGUE

1. Today, Our meeting is too crowded. You may be wondering that we only have 6 toastmasters. But no, Two is company, Three is crowd. And six is Too crowded. I mean two times crowd.

2. In the last 25 years, my mom has been thinking that I’m a guest at home.

3. I repeatedly told her that I was not a guest at home, but rather her son. She never gave me attention. One day I stood up on a table and shouted, “Mom, I’m your son, not a guest”

4. I hated my mom. Because she had an eye……… on me always.

5. Everyone shared wonderful tips, like walking towards the person, but not to intimidate etc. I have one tip: If you want to gain attention of a man, give that man a fish.

6. I went to a camp last year. It was a jungle. Suddenly, I ran into a tiger. I was really scared. Because it had only one eye.

7. I walked towards it. But not to intimidate.

8. I gave that tiger a fish.

9. I returned back to the camp. I asked each and everyone there: Why didn’t you come out to help me when I shouted tiger… tiger? Is it because you thought “No saving… or too risky?”

10. I opened my own bakery last year. I invested a lot and burnt cash like anything. At the end of the year, I was left with zero net income and ash that was generated by burning the cash.

11. I have a feedback for Marcel. Marcel, your Mother-Son story was really touching. If you had named the boy as “Shane”, you would’ve been the star of this evening. Yeah, just think of it. Every time you had to refer the boy, you could’ve just said “Son Shane” “Son Shane” “Sunshine” which is the word of the evening.

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