Humor Monologue delivered at Toastmasters meeting – Aug 8, 2012

The meeting ran over and hence I couldn’t deliver my humor monologue. Yet, I prepared my monologue during the meeting. And here it is.

Read the set-up below and then read the monologue.

THE SET-UP (What was said and what happened during the meeting before the monologue was delivered.)

1. One of the table topics was “What new sport would you like to have added in Olympics”? Another table topic was “What would you talk if you find Bill Gates in the adjacent seat in the flight”?

2. I gave a prepared speech about influencng others. I narrated a story about Abraham Lincoln.

3. Navin told his favorite person in Olympics is Michael Phelps.

4. Navin was the ‘ah and ‘umm’ counter. While explaining his role, he said “Filler words are like bad sector from the tape. It can make a nice song awful. Filler words are similar.” Navin was also performing the role “time-keeper”. When the general evaluator told nobody is performing the role “Grammarian”, Navin told that he could volunteer. Everyone said “No no no no no… you already have 2 roles.”

5. Another table topic was “How would you sell a pen at high cost”? Tobias talked about it. He snatched everyone’s pen and asked if you were to write your final exam and you didn’t have a pen in the exam hall, how much would you be willing to pay if someone sold a pen? Remi told, “little lesser than the whole semester fee.” Tobias wanted to convey the msg that the cost of pen would go up if the demand is high.

6. Anshu told that fear of public speaking is more for her than the fear of death.


1. Welcome to today’s Toastmasters meeting happening in America… where we talk about Abraham Lincoln, Bill Gates, Michael Phelps.

2. If Netherlands wanted somebody to represent them in a new sport in Olympics, Navin would have said, “I can volunteer”

3. Then everyone in Netherlands would have said, “No no no no no no”. Do you know what’s that like? That’s like a bad sector from a tape.

4. I wish Olympics had this new sport. If it had this, I would have won gold medal. The name of the sport is… Fear of public speaking. You can find me giving interview, after the victory, from another planet.

5. I was once travelling with Bill Gates in a flight. I asked him, “whats the topmost fear you have in life.” He said, “I don’t have fear of public speaking, so it’s fear of death.” I took out my gun, pointed at him and said, “Ok, come on, sign this million dollar cheque.”

6. Bill Gates said, “I can sign this cheque. But, unfortunately, I don’t have a pen.” I said, “Ok, here you go, take my pen… oh wait, that’s another million dollar.”


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