Humor Monologue delivered at Toastmasters meeting – Nov 14, 2012

This is the best humor monologue that I’ve ever done. I wouldn’t normally laugh while delivering a humor monologue. But this time, I, myself, couldn’t control laughter at two places.

Read the set-up below and then read the monologue.

THE SET-UP (What was said and what happened during the meeting before the monologue was delivered.)

1. Three guests who attended our meeting have American boss.

2. Today’s table topics was “safety in today’s world”. And any encounters with people who jeopardize safety.

3. Zhou gave a speech in which he asked “Do you follow your heart? Do you follow your passion?”

4. Mario gave the icebreaker speech. He told that he’s a frequent visitor of Barcelona. One time, when he was in Barcelona, in a beach, his 3 girl kids wanted to wear swim suit and play in the water.

5. Word of the day is ‘remember’. While Andre was evaluating Mario’s speech, he said the word ‘remember’ once and said once again, stressing it.

6. Navin gave a speech on the topic ‘Children’s Day’. While he presented the speech, the computer screensaver (a blue screen) showed up as there was no activity for a long time in the laptop. In his speech, he told that between the age 0 and 4, parents consider the child as KING, b/w 4 and 14 as SLAVE, and after 14 as FRIEND. He also said that in India, it’s always the second case, irrespective of the age.

7. Navin also told that in a function his father was eating ‘Aubergine’. While he was eating that, Navin ran up to his father and shouted ‘Papa, you are eating Aubergine?? AUBERGINE??’ and dragged his father home. (as his father is not allowed to eat it)


1. Welcome to tonight’s Toastmasters meeting, where we perform magic, like turning white screen to blue screen.

2. There are 3 reasons to join Toastmasters. a) if you want to improve public speaking b) if you want to develop leadership c) if you have an American boss.

3. I was travelling in a bus. A guy who was in the bus pointed a gun at me and said, “Come on. Take out all the money. Quick. I have to go to Barcelona.”

4. Money gets stolen in my house very often. Even with high security systems installed, no safety. It kept on happening until one day when my dad caught me stealing money.

5. I asked a kid who is 10 years old, “Do you follow your dream? Do you follow your passion?” for which the kid replied, “If you excuse me, I have to follow 3 girls in the beach.”

6. For me, a child shall be treated like a girlfriend for age>=18 years.

7. If you want to embarrass someone, give him/her Aubergine… and shout “you eating Aubergine?? AUBERGINE??”

8. Once lived a cruel king… But I don’t remember his name. I mean, I don’t REMEMBER his name. He was making many people as slaves. All aged between 4 and 14 years. But for Indian people, no age restriction.


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