Humor Monologue delivered at Toastmasters meeting – Feb 6, 2013

This is my first humor monologue in 2013.

Read the set-up below and then read the monologue.

THE SET-UP (What was said and what happened during the meeting before the monologue was delivered)

1. Peter, who is a new member told that he had problems logging into the toastmasters website called ‘easyspeak’ – The website said that the password is incorrect.

2. Jennifer, who was the grammarian of the meeting, who was also the word master of the evening, introduced the word of the day – “interested”. She said that many Dutch people confuse the adverb ‘interesting’ with ‘interested’.

3. Rohit was the Table topics master tonight. The table topic that he gave to the participants was ‘How would you sell a product’. Roxanna was given a thread bundle and asked to sell that. She said that the thread bundle would come in handy if your trouser button comes off.

4. Emile was given detergent powder and asked to sell. He told, “I see many of you here wearing dresses. You might need detergent powder then.”

5. While Radomir gave a speech, he was guessing which country Jennifer might be from. He started with the UK, the US, Canada. Finally Jennifer said she is from Australia.

6. Marcel, during his speech, invited everyone to the area-level speech contest in April.

7. Djean gave a speech about Insecurity and hacking. He showed a video where a hacker could see the screenshot of the hacked system. i.e. the exact live video of the hacked system.

8. Jan used the phrase ‘I’m a little bit happy today’. Jennifer, the grammarian, told that it’s wrong grammar. She asked him to use ‘I’m a little happy today’

The Monologue

1. Last year, I participated in the area-level speech contest. To my surprise, I won the contest. Because I stitched all participants’ mouth with the thread bundle that Roxanna sold.

2. I stitched their mouth because, like other Dutch people, I often confuse the noun ‘trouser button’ with the noun ‘mouth’.

3. Then I looked at the audience and said, “I see that many of you here have mouth. You might need this thread bundle too.”

4. My mom is religious. She would always say to me that god is watching me. Today, I’ll tell her – “Not only god. Hackers too.”

5. After Djean’s today’s speech about insecurity and hacking, Peter will never attempt to login to ‘easyspeak’ – the toastmasters website.

6. Once Obama was elected as President, he was giving a speech. When the speech was over, he asked the audience if they had any questions. One of them asked, “Are you from the UK? Australia? Canada?”

7. Dear friends, be careful about people like thieves, hackers, and more importantly sales people.

8. I hope that you find my monologue ‘A Little Bit’ funny.

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