College is a temple. Close your eyes and meditate.

This is a true incident that happened during my 4-year vacation to Madurai. i.e. my college (TCE) life. And that is the second funniest thing that happened in my entire life. The first funniest is the fact that my vacation didn’t extend to the 5th year.

Let me not talk about the first funniest thing as it involves boring incidents like waking up all night before the exam, drinking coffee after coffee, reading each and every part of the book to prepare bits and master bit. So let me tell you the second funniest, which also involves bit (A).

When? II year B.E. CSE
Day Scholar or Hosteler? → Hosteler

I should first tell you about the Vinayaka temple in our college campus. This is the place which many people visit during important occasions, such as distribution of kondai kadalai (chickpeas). You can see a board outside this temple, which reads
Peak Time: Result publishing day
Non-peak time: Any other day
I am not sure if that board is still there. Or anyone has taken that to hit hostel warden’s middle head.

It was a Saturday Morning and it was Vinayak Chathurthi that day. None of my gang friends had gone home that weekend. When you’re in a gang, you can’t do things alone. You should go to college together, go to canteen together, go to bathroom together. Er, not the last one. So if I had to go to the temple, I should go with my gang friends.

I woke up very early (at 8:36 a.m.) that day to wake my gang friends up. Don’t think I was trying to go to temple just for kondai kadalai. They were also giving kozhukattai that day.

Arun is one of our gang who is never late to anything. He is always late square. With tough tasks ahead, I didn’t have a clue how to get everyone ready. Dragging them to temple was one option. But it would make hostel mates suspicious. I realize now that I could have covered that up saying, “These guys are starting Angapradakshinam from hostel itself”.

Somehow I managed to get everyone ready except SR. He took too much time to take bath. I found that to be very unusual. Yeah, taking bath on Saturday is unusual. He finally got ready at 12:23 p.m. Then we started walking towards the temple, but I asked everyone to run. We rushed to the temple.

The temple was crowded as if they were screening Vishwaroopam before the theater release. I sneaked into kondai-kadalai-giving-area. The person who was distributing kondai kadalai smiled at me and said two cricket-related words: “Over Over.” I replied to him, “Idhu romba over, anna.”

After witnessing that incident, SR tried to escape, but I got hold of him and scolded, “Dash Dash Dash, unnaladhaan da dash, kondai kadalai dash theendhu pochuda dash.” where dash is the S word (in Tamil) used for male reproductive organ. Some people in the temple looked at me strangely. Maybe they also didn’t get kondai kadalai.

After I finished that dash sentence, one guy who was standing beside me asked, “Do you know what place is this?” I said, “Yes, I know. This is the place where you don’t get kondai kadalai.” He asked one more question, “Do you know who I am?” I replied, “Maybe you are one of the people who has eaten kondai kadalai.” He again continued, “I am the deputy warden of this hostel. Ask your dad to meet me on Monday.” (I don’t remember the name of that guy. He’s a ECE dept. staff)

I didn’t know how to break that matter to my dad. All those days, my dad was thinking that the only bad word that I knew was Pakistan. I brought up the courage to say the matter to my dad and I did. But I didn’t tell him the exact dash word I used.

Monday evening, 4:00 p.m.
My dad arrived at the hostel. He was in our room. All my room mates returned from the college. And this was how the conversation went.
My dad (to Arun): Which word he used, thambi?
*I was signaling to Arun – Keep quiet. Keep quiet*
Arun: Not a big word and all uncle. He just said ‘dog’. As it was temple, deputy warden got tensed.
My dad: Just for the word ‘dog’, they have asked me to come here, huh? Very bad.

5:30 p.m. – Warden room.
Attendees – Warden, Deputy Warden, me, my dad.
Warden (to my dad): Do you know what your son did?
Dad: Yes, I know. I don’t think it’s such a bad thing (my dad was thinking that warden was referring to the word ‘dog’).
Warden: What? Do you know what your son said in the temple.
Dad: Yeah, I know. This kind of words are normal at our home. It’s even normal in our city.
Warden: What are you saying?
*I couldn’t control laughter, but I managed very hard*
Warden: See, we are talking very seriously, and your son is laughing.
Dad: If I had said this to my wife and my another son, they will laugh too.
Warden: Whaaaaat?
Dad: What’s wrong with that word? In fact, I have one too (Note my dad is still talking about dog).

Warden and Deputy warden stopped the conversation after that. I said, “Sorry sir, sorry sir. I promise it won’t happen again. Please leave me just this time.” They left me without punishing. After my dad and I left the warden room, my dad said, “Useless fellows. Just for this simple matter, they have made me travel a long distance and wasted a day. He is a dash dash dash.”

Note: The dash that my father used is different from the one I used.


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