Humor Monologue delivered at Toastmasters meeting – July 10, 2013

Read the set-up below and then read the humor monologue.

THE SET-UP (What was said and what happened during the meeting before the monologue was delivered)

1. Kees, one of the toastmasters, came to the meeting wearing 3/4 pant.

2. Chris told that last weekend was great weekend for British sports. Andy Murray won the title. And good results in rugby too.

3. Kees introduced the word of the day ‘Happy’/’Happiness’ and before telling the word, he gave a small speech during which he told he lost his wallet one night when he was listening to some people playing guitar outside his home. When someone gave it to him the next day, he was happy’.

4. One of the table topics was “Would you enjoy a day without sun? What would you do on that day?”

5. Nicole, one of the guests, told that her goal is to become TedX speaker.

6. Navin, during his speech, talked about his dad’s bargaining skills. If the actual rate is $5, his dad would start with $1. And then $1.2. And if the shop keeper wouldn’t agree, his father would walk away. Then the shop keeper would agree to give the thing for $1.3.

7. One time when Navin went to the US embassy, he was caught by the security since he had knife in his bag. Later his wife clarified that the knife was to cut the apples in the bag.

8. Tobias evaluated Navin’s speech. He told that Navin delivered the jokes well. i.e. he built the tension, paused a bit, and delivered the punch.

9. Chris talked about the freeware called Audacity which can be used for recording. Peter evaluated his speech. Peter told that the way Chris marketed Audacity, it looked like it’s a licensed product and Chris got $1 for every punch he delivered.

10. Normally, we count the filler words everyone uses while speaking. In the whole meeting, I used 13 filler words. (‘ah’s and ‘um’s)

The Humor Monologue

1. Hello toastmasters, guests. Or in other words, hello happy people.

2. I am going to tell jokes. I am going to build tension, pause a bit, and deliver the punch… on one of your faces.

3. I said too many ‘ah’s today. The way I said too many ‘ah’s, many people would have thought i’m licensed ‘ah’ supporter and get $1 for every ‘ah’.

4. Hi Kees, you gave a nice short speech. I mean a speech in nice shorts.

5. The favorite sports of British are Soccer, Tennis, Rugby, and capturing other countries and ruling them.

6. Many people would really love a day without sun… and um, daughter.

7. A day without sun? All dark? What I would do? I would go steal Kees’ wallet.

8. One day, I was waiting in an airport for the flight. I saw a couple also waiting there. They had a cute, little kid. I went near them and told, “Look at the kid, how cute.” Then I looked at the parents and said, “What do you say? $1 for the kid, OK?”

9. The couple looked at me angrily. I thought that maybe they wanted to bargain. I said $1.2 and started walking away expecting that they would stop me and settle for $1.3.

10. As expected, they stopped me. And the husband took out a knife from the bag and showed that to me. I wasn’t scared. I told him, “Take out the apples too.”

11. OK, I am finishing my speech. As I say this, I can see happiness on all your faces.

12. See you all at next meeting. And, Nicole, see you in TedX.


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