Read the set-up below and then read the humor monologue.
THE SET-UP (What was said and what happened during the meeting before the monologue was delivered)
1. Rohit did his speech from the project “Getting comfortable with visual aids”. He used PPT slides. He asked Jan, who was sitting in the last row, whether he could read the slide clearly.
2. Rohit said, to become a distinguished toastmaster, you need to finish so many speeches and do many other things like being an officer, attending training etc. He also told that only 0.2% toastmasters become distinguished toastmasters.
3. Marc quoted Confucius: “When I hear, I forget. When I see, I remember. When I do, I understand”.
4. One of the table topics was “World without beer. How would you cope up?”
5. Floris, the meeting manager today, didn’t print enough agendas. His printer stopped working when it printed 7 copies. So, many people didn’t have agenda with them during the meeting.
6. Today, I came to know that beer during the break time is free for the guests.
7. Bogdan gave a speech about personal financial planing. He was talking about the stuff from a book written by Brian Tracy. How much would you want to earn? How much to save? How much for pension? etc. His speech’s evaluator Jitske told that he didn’t mention any points for “What if the personal financial planning doesn’t work out?”
8. Marcel gave a speech about iPhone and its features. He was like an iPhone dealer, telling all positive points. He had his iPhone in his hand during his whole speech.
9. One of the members left the meeting early.
10. There were many guests today. They were asking us how to become member. For which, they got reply, “Ask Rohit” every time.
11. One of the guests, Andy, jokingly told that he would visit next time if his friend Julia, who was also a guest, comes back.
12. Rianne gave her 1st speech. She didn’t use notes. Everybody appreciated that.
The Humor Monologue
1. Dear toastmasters, guests, and iPhone lovers.
2. My speech is about getting comfortable with bit notices. *I showed the audience a small bit notice*
3. Jan, can you read this? (Jan was sitting in the last row)
4. I am a distinguished toastmaster. I am the only one in this meeting room with a mustache. Only 50% can achieve this. I mean, it would be weird if girls started growing mustache.
5. When I hear, I forget… When I see, I forget… When I do, I forget.
6. I bought Brian Tracy’s book, in which the author asked “What’s your financial planning? How much would you like to save? How much pension you need?” After looking at all those questions, I thought, “I would like to save a lot of money… by not spending any more on buying Brian Tracy books”.
7. Forget the world without beers. We need a world without Brian Tracy books.
8. OK, OK. I am just kidding. We need a universe without Brian Tracy books.
9. One guy has left the meeting early. Maybe he has gone to start his personal financial planning.
10. I just came to know that beer is free for guests. Hey Chris (club president), what is the procedure to discontinue from this club?
11. OK, don’t bother. I will find out using Marcel’s iPhone. Or, I will ask Rohit.
12. Marcel is very very clever. He had his notes displayed on his iPhone.
13. Hey, Marcel, you are not Marcel. You are Marseller.
14. Hey Jitske, you wanted to know what to do when the financial planning doesn’t work out, right? I have an answer for you. Call Brian Tracy.
15. Call him using iPhone.
16. Royal baby was born yesterday. They should name him iPhone. All good qualities. And very costly.
17. Floris has brought only 7 copies of the agenda for 20+ people. I think, Floris is preparing for the world without agendas.
18. Thank you. I am coming back next time only if Julia comes back.