It’s too hot in here. Please switch on the heater.

Today, the theme of our Toastmasters meeting was “Summer Fun”. At the last moment, something struck my mind: Why not give a humor monologue on the theme? Then, I started preparing this monologue just 2 hours before the meeting. Somehow, it shaped up well and here is the final monologue that I delivered.

sunny

-> I like telling jokes. Today, I am going to tell jokes on today’s theme. In other words, I am going to give a funny, sunny monologue.

-> It’s 26° outside. Summer in the Netherlands. Nice weather. I called my mom & dad in India to tell it’s 26° and nice weather. They told, “Oh, the winter still hasn’t ended there, huh?”

-> I don’t call them quite often. I only call them when there is some hot topic to discuss.

-> It so hot here that I am starting to tan. Starting to tan from this particular spot *showed the audience my mustache* (Normally, I wouldn’t have mustache. This was the 1st time. So, this joke got more laughs).

-> This hot weather is making many people lazy. For example, the pizza delivery guy doesn’t have to hurry anymore. Since it’s too hot outside, to deliver, he can take long time. Say, for example, the time it takes to grow mustache.

-> I am not a pizza delivery guy.

-> It’s so hot here that I moved my house to another place. It’s a small building. I live in the top floor. That building is fridge in my house. And I live in the freezer.

-> The weather is nice that the fridge has started going for a jog daily.

-> I have stopped buying vegetables and other food items. Not that I’m eating pizza all the time. It’s that there is no space in my fridge to keep things. Since it’s going for a jog, it slimmed down.

-> At the rate fridge is slimming, very soon, I will declare myself homeless.

-> Nowadays, a lot of people are going to office just wearing shorts. I don’t know why they do that! I think maybe they are selling their jackets, shirts, pants to buy sunscreen lotion.

-> I will never do that. I will steal sunscreen lotion.

-> Yesterday, I changed “About me” section on my Facebook. I changed it to “Fun-loving guy”. It used to be “Cool and fun-loving guy”.

-> Day before yesterday, my friends and I played cricket. We are just average cricket players. But, on that day, we were all on fire. Even when we played indoors.

-> Glad that we didn’t choose to play outdoors. Otherwise, you would have seen me with mustaches all over my body.

-> Mustache on hand, mustache on leg!! Wouldn’t it be weird and disgusting? That explains why I don’t go to office wearing shorts.

-> Before I finish my monologue, I have a small request. To make my life easy, please place your sunscreen lotion in an easily accessible place. Thank you.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: