Humor Monologue delivered at Toastmasters meeting – September 4, 2013

Read the set-up below and then read the humor monologue.

THE SET-UP (What was said and what happened during the meeting before the monologue was delivered)

1. Someone quoted Edison: “Success is 99% perspiration and 1% aspiration”.

2. I gave a speech which was supposed be within 15 minutes. But I talked for 21 minutes (6-minutes overtime).

3. Jitske, the meeting host, announced the break very early. But later, she realized that there was too much time for break.

4. Jan talked about taking pictures under water. And about the cameras. While talking about camera batteries, he said batteries are like humans.

5. Nicole, during her speech, told that her dream was to be on stage. As a dancer.

6. One of the table topics was “How would your life be if you were a shoe”.

7. Bogdan, during his speech, talked about 4 spending habits. He also told that it’s not how much money you earn makes you rich. It’s how much you give others makes you rich.

8. In toastmasters, we do evaluation of speeches by sandwich method. i.e. What was good -> What could be better -> What was good.

9. The “ah um” counter told that i used only 2 ah’s throughout my speech which is good, but told like 100 so’s which is bad. He asked me to get rid of the word ‘so’.

10. One of the table topics was “What would you choose to spend time with a) life partner b) lot of money”.

11. Peter asked to skip news as it’s not helpful for aspiring your dreams.

12. Bieneke is into weigh-losing business.

The Humor Monologue

1. I am going to reveal the secret on how to be successful. It is 99% perspiration, 1% aspiration, and lot of napkins to wipe all the sweat.

2. Today I talked for 21 minutes. But actually, I only talked for 15 minutes. For 6 minutes, I was saying ‘so’, ‘so’, ‘so’.

3. There was a little confusion about when to have break. To avoid confusion, we will begin our next meeting with a break.

4. To lose weight, some people skip breakfast, some skip lunch, some skip dinner. Peter skips news.

5. If you ask me to choose between “life partner” and “lot of money”, I would choose partner… with lot of money.

6. My dream is to become a shoe… of a dancer. Because I want to be on the stage.

7. I have 3 cameras: 1 Nikkon camera, 1 Cannon camera, and 1 stolen camera.

8. OK, OK, I am kidding. I don’t have Nikkon camera and Cannon camera.

9. “It’s not how much money you earn makes you rich. It’s how much money you steal makes you rich,” said a thief.

10. People in the Netherlands have 4 spending habits: 1. Spend on beer 2. Spend on 2nd beer 3. 3rd beer 4. 4th beer.

11. Jitske’s dream is also to become a dancer. A break dancer.

12. Our evaluators are becoming fat and fat everyday. Because they use sandwich method.

13. Batteries are like humans. So, I am going to give my next speech to a set of batteries in the audience.

14. Thank you so much. Oh, wait… Thank you much.

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