Humor Monologue delivered at ASML – October 1, 2013

Today, our Toastmasters club gave a demo meeting to the people at ASML. It was a nice experience to present something to a bigger audience than we would normally have. This is a humor monologue I delivered at the end of the meeting. First read what happened in the meeting. And then the humor monologue which was prepared based on the things that happened during the meeting.

THE SET-UP (What was said and what happened during the meeting before the monologue was delivered)

1. Chris asked everyone to stand up, loosen the body a little, close our eyes, and think what we wanted to get from the meeting.

2. Chris pronounced ASML as AMSL many times (more than 5 times)

3. Chris showed two charts. One chart containing blocks that are connected to each other, and the other one not connected. He asked the audience to guess what it is. Later he explained that the first one was a chart of speaker who is well connected to the audience. One of the audience told that the un-connected one looked like an examination hall.

4. Navin, before starting his speech, showed a disclaimer slide in his presentation, which started with something like “not intended to…”

5. Navin told a story about a professor’s seminar, during which the professor kept on making ‘mmmmmm’ sound in between each and every sentence. He told that it was annoying and 50% of the audience fell asleep.

6. Navin asked us to implement humor in our speeches. He told that he gets chance to make jokes about his wife in Toastmaster meetings since her wife is not a member of the Toastmasters club.

7. Navin also asked us to pause effectively in between speeches.

8. Navin gave another tip for good presentations. i.e. to have dance/music/drama. Irinia, an audience, asked how it’s possible to have music/drama etc during speeches.

9. Jan gave a speech about Solar energy. He wore green t-shirt to support his speech. His speech exceeded time limit and red light was shown by the timer.

10. The table topics were about trip to Mars.

The Humor Monologue

1. Before I start my speech, I want to put a disclaimer. This speech is not intended to make you laugh. It’s intended to put you to sleep.

2. Look at the chart with connected blocks. This looks like human brain with neurons making connection with one another. And the chart that contains only blocks, with no connection – yeah, that’s my brain.

3. If you’re wondering why Chris said AMSL (actually ASML), it’s because Chris is obsessed with the course called “Master of Science”. In short, MS.

4. If Chris starts chatting with a girl over net, he wouldn’t start the chat with “ASL please”. He would start with “AMSL please”.

5. All of you, stand up, loosen your body, close your eyes. Ok, now is the perfect time for me to escape from this room.

6. This picture with connected blocks also resembles an examination hall, where every student interacts with each other and copying answers.

7. Mmmmmm. Navin told that 50% of the audience fell asleep in that seminar. He missed to tell something more. The other 50% had left the room. And registered for trip to Mars.

8. I pause a lot and effectively during my speeches. One time, I paused, went out for shopping green t-shirt, came back to continue my speech in an empty room. I assumed that the audience had gone to register for Mars trip.

9. I am going to follow Navin’s advise and implement humor in my speeches. I mean I am going to make jokes about his wife.

10. I want to… mmmmm… give a… mmmmm… nice speech… mmmmm… like Naveen. If you are wondering what I’m doing, this is the speech with music.

11. Jan made a big mistake. If he wanted to support his speech and wanted us to use green energy, he should’ve stopped speaking when it was green, not when it was red.

12. Thank you. See you in Mars.

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