Read the set-up below and then read the humor monologue.
THE SET-UP (What was said and what happened during the meeting before the monologue was delivered)
1. While starting the meeting, Chris, our club president, congratulated me and Kees for representing our club in the division-level contest.
2. One of the table topics was, what would be your speech after becoming Miss Universe. Dorota, one of the guests was invited to speak on the topic. Jitske was invited for another topic which was something similar: Miss World.
3. Jitske told during her table-topics speech that it was because of her parents that she became Miss World. They fed her proper diet, took care of her.
4. I gave a speech titled ‘Anxiety kills’. I started the speech by asking an open question to the audience ‘Have you ever had fear of death? If yes, when and why?’ Niels answered the question, but he was answering the question for more than 3 minutes. I remained silent on the stage during that time. Because of that my speech went over time.
5. My speech purpose was to get comfortable with visual aids. I used a PowerPoint presentation with pictures.
6. One of the table topics was “After your death or at old age, how would you like to be remembered by everyone?”. Agus, one of the guests, talked. He said, “I don’t want to be remembered by millions of people. I would be happy if I’ll be remembered by my close friends and wife.”
7. Niels, during his speech, told that he once had Chinese wine and it made him experience near-death — He couldn’t move his body for one complete day because of that.
The Humor Monologue
1. Good evening Toastmasters, guests, and Miss Universe.
2. Kees represented our club in division-level contest. I represented our club in division-level contest. Jitske represented our club in Miss World contest.
3. My speech went over time because I spoke 7000 words. Yes, I spoke 7000 words. I had 7 pictures in the presentation and a picture speaks 1000 words.
4. I am planning my next speech for Jan 2014. That speech will be completely given by Niels.
5. By the answer that Niels gave to my question on fear of death, I was amazed; I was really impressed; I was SPEECHLESS. For 3 minutes.
6. Before I give my next speech, I will make Niels drink Chinese wine.
7. I don’t want to be remembered by millions of people. I’ll be happy if I’ll be remembered by my close friends and Agus’ wife.
8. I hate my parents. They didn’t feed me proper diet; they din’t take care of my beauty. Otherwise, I too would’ve won Miss World title.
9. Thank you all. It’s party time. Enjoy with drinks. And yeah, avoid Chinese wine.