Humor Monologue delivered at Toastmasters meeting – November 27, 2013

Read the set-up below and then read the humor monologue.

THE SET-UP (What was said and what happened during the meeting before the monologue was delivered)

1. Inna was the only woman at the meeting.

2. Andre gave a speech about discrimination. He persuaded the audience to not discriminate people based on color, religion, gender etc.

3. Kees’ speech purpose was to inspire the audience. He wrote SUCCES on the white board and elaborated that to Simple, Unexpected, Concrete, Credible, Emotional, Strong opening. Someone told that it’s not SUCCES, but SUCCESS. For which Kees replied that it’s Dutch spelling.

4. Marcel handed over the stage to Kees before his speech. Marcel was waiting for handshake with Kees. But Kees was setting up the stage and shook hands with him only after 10 seconds.

5. Kees completed his last speech in the CC manual. Kees had cold.

6. One of the table topics was, what would you do if you were sent to an island. Bogdan spoke. He said that he would set up a Toastmasters club over there.

7. One of the table topics was, if you can take someone with you to the island, who would that be? Mario spoke. He said he wouldn’t take his wife because anyway he has been speaking with her daily. So, he would take Mark, another club member, so that they can discuss lot of science.

8. Mark gave a speech about lithography. His speech was more technical. Nobody understood anything because he wrote more equations like P = λ/2NA etc.

9. During his speech, he gave Mario a DVD, CD and lit a torch above those CD and DVD and asked Mario what colors he saw. Audience was like, whaaaaat!!

10. Chris started the meeting. He said Bieneke has arranged the Christmas dinner. And if anyone wants to have Christmas dinner, contact Bieneke.

11. Chris gave one of the table topics. The topic was, one of you gave me 10 million Euros and I buy an island. I am going to send somebody to that island.

The Humor Monologue
1. Good evening Lady and Gentlemen.

2. Ok ok. I will not discriminate. So, once again: Good evening gentle lady and gentle men.

3. This is a simple, unexpected, concrete, credible, emotional, strongly opening to my speech.

4. Hey Marcel, when Kees delayed shaking hands, you should have just left the stage. Because just before he came on to the stage, I saw him blowing his nose.

5. Hey Chris, give me back the 10 million Euros I gave you. I am going to buy e-You Yahoo island.

6. Last night, I had a dream. I went to jail. I asked my jail mate, “Why are you here?” for which he said, “I robbed a bank.” Another jail mate said, “I kidnapped a man for ransom money.”. Then they both asked me, “Why are you here?” For which I said, “I am here to establish Toastmasters club.”

7. Hey Kees, congrats on completing your C manual. C manual, because anyway, you don’t care about the extra C in the CC manual.

8. Mario prefers Mark over his wife. In other words, he prefers science over chemistry.

9. I will give you the formula for success. The formula is P = λ/2NA. Well, if you don’t understand the meaning, ask Marc or Mario.

10. If you want to have dinner tonight, contact Bieneke.

11. I wish you all a pleasant evening and enjoyable weekend. Rent some movie DVDs. A torch. And watch colors. Thank you.


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