Humor Monologue delivered at Toastmasters meeting – February 5, 2014

Read the set-up below and then read the humor monologue.

THE SET-UP (What was said and what happened during the meeting before the monologue was delivered)

1. 5 members couldn’t make it to the meeting because they have flu.

2. Theme of the meeting was “Let’s compete”. Word of the day was “Abundance”.

3. Inna talked about effective emailing. She advised to keep the emails short. And to create a filter to filter emails where you’re just CCed (It will save time since you don’t have to read emails that are not addressed to you. You can read ’em at your leisure)

4. Inna gave many tips for effective email communication. While numbering tips, she lost count in the middle.

5. I was given a table topic. When I came on to the stage, I asked the audience to clap for me non stop. My evaluator told I did it too much. I asked for claps 3 times 🙂

6. Mario talked about Andrew Wiles, the mathematician who was trying to solve xn+yn=zn. Mario said Andrew didn’t tell anyone what he was doing for 7 years except his wife. His speech title was “World’s hardest problem”.

7. I performed timer role. I told everyone that it’s really difficult to keep track of time while preparing humor monologue in parallel. Sometimes, I would miss to notice some speaker going over time and signal red.

8. Bart, during his speech, mentioned, “I once saw a source of green light, more greener than the timer’s signal light (the green light that I signaled for telling that he has reached green zone)”.

9. There was an empty beer bottle on the window behind the stage.

The Humor Monologue
1. So many people are absent today. The theme of the meeting, instead of “Let’s compete”, should’ve been “Let’s come”.

2. Do you all know that Satya Nadella is the new CEO of Microsoft. From yesterday. You know what’s the 1st thing he did after becoming CEO? He sent all employees a 16 page email.

3. That email had a strong message. And the message is “Use MICROSOFT Outlook”.

4. I have a dream. To start my own company. And give jobs to millions of people. For effective communication, I’ll not advise emails. Rather, I’ll lock all of them in room for face-to-face.

5. The story of Andrew Wiles – It’s unbelievable. That’s really shocking. A nerd mathematician had a wife??!!

6. Andrew didn’t tell anyone what he was doing for 7 years?? No. He DID tell. But others didn’t read his messages. Because he kept them in CC.

7. Hi Inna, I have a tip for you. Get married to a mathematician.

8. I’ve never seen anything more greener than this – Pointed to the beer bottle on stage window.

9. World’s hardest problem is -> Keeping track of time while preparing humor monologue.

10. Thank you. You all have a wonderFlu evening.

I gave a very nice humor line. But it was not part of monologue. Rather it was part of president’s introduction (Yes, Chris, our president was absent today as well. So I gave that part). Here it is:
I have a good news and two bad news. Ok. The bad news first – 5 of our club members have flu. Now the good news – They are not here. And the 2nd bad news for you- I have flu.


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