Humor Monologue delivered at Toastmasters meeting – February 19, 2014

Read the set-up below and then read the humor monologue.

THE SET-UP (What was said and what happened during the meeting before the monologue was delivered)

1. Rohit gave an educational presentation. He explained Meisner technique that can be used for impromptu speaking. The technique goes like this. Person 1 says something. And person 2 says yes. They repeat the same thing.

2. Two volunteers were called to explain this. Mohammed and Nicole went.
Nicole: You wear a white t-shirt.
Mohammed: Yes, I wear a white t-shirt.
*Repeated 10 times*
Mohammed: You wear black glasses.
Nicole: Yes, I wear black glasses.
*Repeated 10 times*

3. Rohit said, “Suppose you knock the door, and the person who opens the door is counting the light bulbs. Then how can you have an impromptu speaking with that person? How can you improvise? You can use Meisner technique.”

4. Rohit began his presentation by showing pic of a person who is very afraid to speak. Ended with pic of Obama (good speaker).

5. In 2 weeks, we have club contest. Floris told that he can’t participate since he’s going to Egypt.

6. Floris, during his table-topics speech on “What renovation you would like to make at your home”, he said he would like to lift his home and rotate so he can have a view of the field around his house.

7. Jan said he didn’t have kids because that there are already enough children in the world.

8. Marc said, “That experience learnt me lesson”. Chris, the grammarian, said ‘learnt’ is wrong, ‘taught’ is the right word in that sentence.

The Humor Monologue
1. Hello Toastmasters, guests, and short-term memory loss patients who repeat the questions.

2. In 2 weeks time, Floris is going to see all the places in Egypt… by lifting his house very high.

3. Rohit gave a nice presentation. Thank you Rohit… for using my pic at the beginning.

4. Thank you for ‘learning’ us Meisner technique.

5. Meisner learnt the technique from his wife.
Wife: Am I beautiful?
Meisner: Yes, you are beautiful.
W: Am I beautiful?
Meisner: Yes, you are beautiful.
W: Am I beautiful?
Meisner: Yesss, yoou aaare beaautifull.

6. By following this technique, Meisner benefitted. Yes, he could produce some children.

7. Look around the room. If you cannot, Floris will rotate it for you.

8. You knock the door, and the person who opens the door is counting the light bulbs. If you would like to begin a conversation, you could start something like this, “Come. Let’s go see a good psychiatrist.”

9. Normally, on my friends’ birthday, I gift them something that they don’t have. This year, I am going to gift Jan 3 children from India.

10. It’s a pity that some gifts that I bought are going to go as waste: white t-shirt and black glasses.

11. Every day, before going to bed, my mom would count me and my brother.

12. 3 reasons for that: We might run away from home. We might cut ourselves into pieces. We are tubelight.

13. Thank you. Will I see you all in 2 weeks? Will I see you all in 2 weeks? WILL I SEE YOU ALL IN 2 WEEKS?

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