Here are some questions from our blog readers, blog non-readers, and god. And the answers from Bala and Mark. Enjoy.
Q: How can I become an actress?
Bala: Becoming an actress is extremely difficult. Especially if you are a guy.
Mark: Exercise regularly, eat healthy diet, and sleep well. Sleeping well is very important. Then you will become an actress. In your dreams.
Q: How can I make soft idly?
Bala: Take ponni rice and urad dal, soak in water for 3 hours. Grind it to make idly batter. Take that batter and pour on your wife’s head and ask her to stop watching tele-serials and start making idly.
Mark: Sorry, I don’t even know how to make hard idly.
Q: I want to reduce 30 kilos in 3 weeks. What’s the best way to achieve it?
Bala: I’ve just emailed you the best method that worked for me. Never ever try this if your current weight is 30 kilos.
Mark: Week 1 – Run for 501 kms. Week 2 – Run for 502 kms. Week 3 – Run if you are alive.
Q: How can I double my money quickly?
Bala: Drink plenty of alcohol. Within 26 minutes, not only money, everything will look double.
Mark: Don’t worry. I know a secret to double, triple, even quadruple the money you have. But the thing is that you should have 0 rupees.
Q: I have been using the same toothpaste for the last 3 years by squeezing and squeezing. How long can I keep using the same toothpaste?
Bala: As long as you have teeth.
Mark: Don’t listen to Bala. Even after you lose all your teeth, keep using the toothpaste, as shaving cream.
Q: I have stomach pain. What should I do?
Bala: Ask your wife not to punch anymore in your stomach.
Mark: You should visit a doctor. I mean a psychiatrist. Why are you asking medical questions to us?
Q: How can I replace my manager at work? I don’t want to switch company either.
Bala: String str = “My manager at work”;
str.replace(“My manager at work”, “I”);
Mark: Go steal your manager’s chair. Then your manager will have no way other than switching to a new company. Because he has no chair to sit on.
Q: Tell me the easiest way to get 100 in Maths.
Bala: Go ask all your doubts to the maths teacher, like what’s (a+b)2, what’s (a-b)2, and whether he would like the cash in 500s or 1000s.
Mark: If you get caught, someone else will get 100. Police, that is.
Q: I want to use a long and strong password. Can you give a suggestion?
Bala: Normally guys keep their girlfriend’s name as password. So, find a girlfriend with whom your relationship will be long and strong.
Mark: Sorry for the late response, man. We didn’t see your question for a long time, because somebody hacked our website, email, and twitter account.
Q: When is the next episode of “Beer with Bala and Martini with Mark”?
Bala: Hello, hello. It’s Boost with Bala and Maltova with Mark. Why are you talking about alcohol? I am going to ‘complan’ to your mom.
Mark: We promise that the next episode will definitely be in this ‘quarter’.
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