Humor Monologue delivered at Toastmasters meeting – June 11, 2014

Read the set-up below and then read the humor monologue.

THE SET-UP (What was said and what happened during the meeting before the monologue was delivered)

1. A speaker began his speech by saying loudly “I have a dream”.

2. Word of the day was “ethereal”.

3. One of our club members is Kees (pronounced as ‘case’). While he was speaking, he hit his finger on the projector and slightly injured his finger.

4. Inna’s speech topic was “How to make your case in 30 seconds” during which she talked about “elevator speech”. i.e. How to create a short speech for 30 seconds. And to practice such speeches while on elevator.

5. Inna said 3 points “Know your goal”, “Know your audience” and one more.

6. Inna during her speech said, “I’m a real estate agent. How will you be different from the other real estate agents? How will you market yourself?”

7. Bart’s speech topic was “The power of one word”. And that one word was “No”. He said, never say “No” to organ donation. He registered for organ donation couple of weeks ago when he logged into the passport renewal website just by a mouse click.

8. Bart finished his speech by saying, “Don’t tell me words don’t matter.”

9. Kees had a text written on his t-shirt. That text was “I’m OK”.

10. Bogdan was Inna’s speech evaluator. He said that Inna could’ve given an example elevator speech for 30 seconds within her speech but she missed it.

11. Tobias was the host. He saw Inna for the first time. He jokingly said that Inna is beautiful.

12. The table topics were set in such a way that everybody was supposed to talk just the opposite of what others talked. It was kind of like a fight.

The Humor Monologue
1.
*I acted like I was sleeping and said in a loud voice* I am having a dream.

2. Beauty (pointed at Inna) and the beast (pointed at myself).

3. I am a real estate agent. I am different from others. I am ethereal estate agent.

4. Kees’ parents did a project named “How to make your Kees in 10 months”.

5. After the fight during the table topics, I started wondering if I was in a fight club.

6. Thanks to the table topics master. He didn’t give any props to the speakers.

7. Inna said good points like “Know your goal”, “Know your audience etc.” But after the speech from Bart, I completely changed my opinion to “Your goal” and “Your audience”. I removed “No” (homophone of ‘know’).

8. Don’t wonder if you see Marc or Chris flying to Cambodia using Bart’s passport. Because he declared himself as donor in the passport website.

9. All toastmasters should be organ donors. After our death, we, public speakers, should donate our mouth.

10. How to make your case in 30 seconds? Your case in just 30 seconds? That would be called ‘Brief case’.

11. Hi Inna, Hans, Richard and everyone except Bart, I would like to tell you “Words don’t matter”. Bart requested at the end of his speech not to tell him that words don’t matter.

12. Kees injured his speaker while speaking. He could’ve just shown what’s written on his t-shirt – “I’m OK”.

13. Hi Bogdan, you said that Inna didn’t give an example elevator speech. In her defense, there is no elevator in here.

14. You all know very well the power of this one word. “Goodbye”.

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