Humor Monologue delivered at Toastmasters meeting – July 23, 2014

Read the set-up below and then read the humor monologue.

THE SET-UP (What was said and what happened during the meeting before the monologue was delivered)

1. There were 2 guests – Namrata and Preethi. Namrata introduced herself as a communication specialist by profession.

2. Nicole was the toastmaster of the evening. She was also the grammarian. This was her second time as toastmaster of the evening. She was the only lady club member present at the meeting.

3. I said that when I was a kid I was fascinated by flying objects or human. Like aeroplane, superman etc.

4. Tobias, during his speech, talked about bargaining skills. When the shop keeper says 150 Euros, he would start from 5 Euros bargaining. He completed his 10th speech today. So he got the “Competent Communicator Pin” from the president.

5. Tobias had a hooded jacket with him.

6. Tobias also talked about persuading skills. Don’t talk from the other end of the party (i.e. facing the party). Go sit near the party (person) so that he will feel that you are on his side.

7. Richard said the reason why Dutch team didn’t win the football World Cup. He said that they used all their luck in the initial matches itself.

8. Bogdan was Tobias’ speech evaluator. He said that Tobias created nice mental pictures in audience’s mind. He said, “When Tobias talked about Italy, I was there. When he talked about bargaining, I was there. When he talked about everything, I was there.”

9. Bogdan table topic was “What if you are second Picasso”. During his speech, he said that he doesn’t want to be the second Picasso. Rather he wants to be first Bogdan.

10. Chris said that tennis is for playing. And football is for watching.

The Humor Monologue

1. Dear Namrata and the people who are not communication specialists by profession.

2. It’s always good to see faces like Namrata and Preethi. It helps increase the ladies count for the meeting.

3. If I were a kid, I would have loved the Dutch football team. You know why? Because of Rob van Persie, the ‘flying’ Dutch man.

4. I was driving my car at 150 kms/hr. A cop stopped me. He said, “Pull over, please”. I took Tobias’ hooded jacket and gave to the cop and said, “Here, sir. Pull over”. (Pull over is another word for hooded jacket)

5. He asked me, “Why did you go at 150 km/hr?” I said, “No, I didn’t. I only went at 5 km/hr”. Then he said, “No no. 145 km/hr”. I said, “No, 10 km/hr”. He said, “140 km/hr”. Then I said, “Ok. Final speed. 15 km/hr”.

6. That bargaining trick didn’t work out. So, I got out of the car and went besides him, put my hand on his shoulders, “Sir, look at that speedometer. Moreover, we are on the same side.”

7. I still couldn’t persuade him. Maybe I used all my luck with another police who stopped me 10 minutes ago.

8. When the first police pulled me over, Bogdan was with me. When this police pulled over, Bogdan was with me. Bogdan was with me everywhere.

9. Tobias has a big problem. He now has a stalker, in the form of Bogdan.

10. On that day, I was stopped by 9 cops. The 9th cop said, “If you are stopped by the next cop, don’t forget to collect your ‘Competent Rash Driver’ pin”.

11. Nicole said, “I don’t want to be the second-time toastmaster. Rather I want to be the first-time grammarian.”

12. Tennis is for playing. And football is for watching?? I thought that football is for drinking beer (because in the Netherlands, football watching is always associated with drinking beer).

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