Humor Monologue delivered at Toastmasters meeting – August 6, 2014

Read the set-up below and then read the humor monologue.

THE SET-UP (What was said and what happened during the meeting before the monologue was delivered)

1. Bart gave a speech. He said that you yourself are the most important person in your life. No one else. He asked everyone to say, “I AM the most important person in my life”.

2. In a b’day party where Bart went, his friend broke coffee glass and poured coffee all over. Then he was scolding himself, “Why is it happening only to me?” Bart said that it was wrong and you should treat yourself as your best friend and console yourself “See. It could happen to anyone. Now, let’s clean the coffee on the floor and get back to the party as if nothing had happened”.

3. Jitske’s speech topic was “Lean management”.

4. One of the table topics was, if it rains, what would you like it to rain. One speaker said, “raining money”. Examples given were raining frogs. Raining cats & dogs etc.

5. Marc asked us to gather all our talent and achieve something. He told a story of a guy who built a boat in 1895 and traveled all over the world with it.

6. During the meeting, I got a call from my manager and got some urgent office work. So, I took out my laptop and worked for 10-15 minutes, while the meeting was going on.

7. One of the table topics was, “Were you ever stood up by someone in the rain”. I talked. I said, “I was waiting outside my home because I din’t have home key and waiting for dad or mom”.

8. Toastmaster-of-the-evening didn’t print out agendas. So, nobody had agenda with them.

9. Bart completed his 10th speech today. The emcee praised Bart that his speech progress was very quick and completed 10 speeches within 1 year.

10. We provided everyone with plastic cups and water in a jug.

The Humor Monologue

1. Dear toastmasters, guests. Now, the most important person of my life is going to give this speech.

2. You might have noticed that I was working on my laptop while the meeting was going on. That was right after Marc told the story. I started creating a plan for building a new boat. To go around the world.

3. Three years ago, on average we would have 15 agendas printed out per meeting. Last year, 10 agendas. Last week 5 agendas. Today no agenda at all. It’s very good ‘lean’ management.

4. Bart completed his 10 speeches very quickly. In other words, “raining speeches”.

5. I would like raining house keys.

6. Once I threw a party. I invited all my best friends to that  party. In other words, “I spent the night alone”.

7. I went to Bart’s party. And a guy broke a coffee glass. We kicked him out. Because he is not the most important person in any one of our lives.

8. We wanted to make you feel like “You are the most important person in your life”. That’s exactly why we gave you unbreakable plastic glass for water. Not glass.

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