Humor Monologue delivered at Toastmasters meeting – August 20, 2014

Read the set-up below and then read the humor monologue.

THE SET-UP (What was said and what happened during the meeting before the monologue was delivered)

1. Theme of the meeting was “Change”.

2. Nicole said, if you want to teach a group something, teach from the back of the room, to be effective trainer. She said 4 points to be an effective trainer: “Connect”, “Concepts”, “Concrete practice”, “Conclusion”.

3. I gave a table topic to someone to speak on: “You’re in Paris. You’re left with change (2 or 3 Euros). Not enough money. No ticket. No credit or debit cards. You have to get back to the Netherlands. What will you do?” Rubin said he would call his dog Fafa (magic dog) and fly to the Netherlands on Fafa.

4. Inna’s speech topic was “Strike a pose”. She asked us to use high-power pose, never low-power pose.

5. Rohit said that when you’re nervous while speaking, you will feel that 1000 butterflies fly in your stomach.

6. Rohit’s speech topic was “Converse with ease”. He called Inna to stage to do a role play. Rohit and Inna went to a speech conference where they have a small talk. During that, only Rohit was speaking most of the time. Inna was just nodding or just saying yes or no.

7. Rohit’s speech evaluator said that Rohit should ask short questions and give the other person chance to speak. Also said that Rohit could’ve started the small talk by asking personal questions like “How are you?” “How was your flight?” etc.

8. Piotr was a guest. He is a toastmaster from Poland. He performed ah counter role at our meeting. He said that in their club, they have a device which will make “ding” sound whenever the speaker says ‘ah’ or ‘umm’.

9. Pierre talked about a psychology experiment. i.e dad would give a kid a marshmallow and leave the room saying if the kid wouldn’t eat that for 10 minutes, the kid would get another one. But 80% kids get tempted and eat that. Pierre distributed marshmallows to everyone before he said this. I was the only one to eat that. After he said the psychology experiment, everybody laughed at me since I was one of the 80%.

10. Rohit said that 13 years ago, he asked a girl “Are you an actress?” when he met her for the 1st time. She became his wife.

The Humor Monologue

1. How many of you like change?…. Raise your legs.

2. Whenever I teach something to a group, I would take my friend with me. I would make my friend stand on the stage, climb on him, sit on his shoulders, and teach the group. My friend’s name is Room. And I teach from the back of the Room.

3. If you are in Paris, left with change, not enough money to return to the Netherlands, I would say, stay there and enjoy the weather.

4. *I wrote down the word ‘Pose’ on the white board and struck it* See. This is the only way I can strike a pose.

5.  “Wow. Are you an actress?” This is what I asked when I first met Justin Bieber.

6. There are 2 possibilities at Toastmasters. You can either be a great speaker. Or a magician… who can show 1000 butterflies coming out of stomach.

7. I also went to the same conference where Rohit and Inna went. I saw Rohit talking to Inna a lot. He didn’t even say hi to me.

8. I saw Rubin too at the conference. I had a small talk with him. I asked him, “How are you?” “How was your flight on Fafa?”

9. Nicole said “Connect”, “Concepts”, “Concrete practice”, “Conclusion”. All of you, beware of Nicole. She is a “Con” woman.

10. As Piotr suggested, we should buy a machine that would make ‘ding’ sound whenever… Rohit speaks a lot.

11. I was driving a car too fast. The cops pulled me over and said “Hands up”. I put my hands behind my head. They said, “Not that!! It’s low-power pose. DO THIS!” *I held my hand wide open above my head. Like Jesus*.

12. I will give you one million Euros if you still have not eaten the marshmallow. (I noticed that everyone had eaten it after Pierre’s speech was over)

13. I once went to Piotr’s club in Poland. I gave a speech. At the end of the speech, I composed a great song. *ding dingding dingdingdingding ding*

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