Humor Monologue delivered at Toastmasters meeting – October 29, 2014

Read the set-up below and then read the humor monologue.

THE SET-UP (What was said and what happened during the meeting before the monologue was delivered)

1. Inna Kostyuk gave a speech titled ‘The 100th monkey’.

2. Justina was the winner of table topics.

3. One of the tabletopics was ‘If you have license to kill someone, who would that be?”

4. Richard talked about 3 mistakes that freelancers make and how they should correct it.
a) Good freelancers should provide quality product and charge more. Because people who charge less are more in number and you should stand out from the rest.
b) Don’t be a master of everything, just be specific to customer needs.
c) Practice to say ‘No’ if needed.

5. Marc announced that I represented our area in the Division Contest.

6. There were 4 guests tonight. One guest joined us when the meeting was half over. One of the guests, Ibrahim, attended our meetings 2 years ago. Then went to Australia. He was back again.

7. Tobias gave a speech in which he did a role play as salesman. He tried to sell a camera. He told that it’s waterproof until 3 meters deep.

The Humor Monologue
1. Dear Toastmasters, guests, and the 100th monkey.

2. Tonight’s meeting, attended by 11 members and three and half guests (One joined after half time).

3. I once called her ‘Inna Kostyuk’. She said, “Call me just Inna’. I said, “Ok Justina”.

4. Just Inna won the table topics.

5. I am a freelancer. I offer high quality service of ‘killing someone’. Cost to kill one person is just 3 million Euros. I stand out from the other killers. Yayy!

6. Want to hire me? Give me the picture of victim, taken by a camera, sold by Tobias. I am specific, you know.

7. I only accept cash. No bank transfer. No debit cards. No credit cards. Yes, I am practicing to say ‘NO’.

8. Offer available only today. “Order one killing. Get one kidnap for free.”

9. Someone had the license to kill me. But he didn’t. Instead he put me onto Toastmasters club. Because, for me, fear of public speaking is more than fear of death.

10. The biggest punishment I ever faced was ‘Speaking in the Division Contest’.

11. The 3 mistakes of my life: Club Contest, Area Contest, Division Contest.

12. Ibrahim, we hope to see you again… in 2 years. [It’s a line delivered by Marc]

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