Humor Monologue delivered at Toastmasters meeting – April 1, 2015

Read the set-up below and then read the humor monologue.

THE SET-UP (What was said and what happened during the meeting before the monologue was delivered)

1. No guest was present at the meeting. Normally, at least one guest would be present. But today, no guests.

2. Floris started his speech with “This summer on CBS7..”

3. Inna gave a speech on “Essentialism”. She asked us to remove unwanted things from our life and keep only the essential. e.g. throw away all your unwanted dresses and keep it minimal. Her speech went 2 minutes over time.

4. Inna drew an E on board, put multiple arrows going outside from E, and said, it’s a person concentrating on multiple things. She drew another E with only one arrow going outside, and said it’s focused on one thing.

5. Word of the day was ‘Bamboozled’. Grammarian was supposed to count how many times people use this word. Floris used it half time. He said ‘Bamboo’.

6. Winslow said he is 52. He gave his first speech. He said he truly truly truly sucks at public speaking.

7. Tobias suggested a new theme to our club: “Speak less”. He asked people to speak less and communicate more through body and silence.

8. The host of the evening, Jitske, forgot to ask the audience to write feedback to all speakers. Normally, there would be 2 minutes gap between each speech during which audience write feedback to speakers.

9. The grammarian said that Wilhelm wrongly said “Andre is back for a long time” instead of “back after a long time”. She also said that Inna pronounced pleasant as pleesant.

10. Lately, weather in the Netherlands is very bad. 50km/hr wind, rain, temperature drop etc. This is not usual for this period of year.

The Humor Monologue

1. Good evening Toastmaster-of-the-evening, fellow toastmasters, and 17 guests who subscribed for the meeting and played April Fool prank.

2. Andre, thanks for being back for a long time.

3. This summer on CBS7. Oh wait.. that’s an April Fool’s joke. Look at the weather. No summer this year.

4. When Inna was giving her speech, everybody was tensed and started biting their nails… already getting rid of unwanted. Essentialism.

5. *points to E with multiple arrows* This is E before marriage. *points to E with single arrow* And this is E after marriage.

6. Essentialism. Inna, I was really inspired. Especially when you talked 2 minutes over time. Essentialism (In sarcastic tone).

7. Let’s all booze… Don’t get shocked. That’s half of ‘bamboozled’.

8. I’m really proud I’ve achieved at the age of 28 what Winslow achieved at 52. Sucking at public speaking. Truly truly truly sucking at public speaking.

9. There is a rule. To overcome fear of public speaking, imagine the audience to be naked. Basically, throw away their unwanted dresses. Essentialism.

10. Another tip to improve your public speaking skill. Before you start speaking, sip some water. At the end of 7th minute, spit it. Yes, speak less.

11. From next meeting, we want you all to speak less. So, all you men, bring your wife with you.

12. Jitske, you’re out of this club. You’re against our club’s theme – speak less. You tried to remove the part of the meeting when audience speak less. i.e. feedback time.

13. Thank you all. Have a pleesant evening.

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