Humor Monologue delivered at Toastmasters meeting – April 29, 2015

Read the set-up below and then read the humor monologue.

THE SET-UP (What was said and what happened during the meeting before the monologue was delivered)

1. Only 10 members attended the meeting.

2. Winslow’s speech was about Uniqueness Quotient (UQ). He talked about IQ and EQ, then moved on to UQ.

3. Ruben, during his speech, asked for a volunteer. When Floris volunteered, Ruben asked Floris to stay outside of the meeting hall and come back when he calls.

4. When Floris came back, Ruben acted like he called Floris on phone – he made “tring tring” sound. Then Floris acted like he picked up his call and started talking. It was to demonstrate something.

5. Ruben wrote on the white board “1. Follow, 2. Lead”.

6. Rens said that good quotations are easy to remember.

7. Rens forgot his complete speech. He gave his whole speech by looking at his notes.

8. One of the table-topics was what’s your favorite color.

9. Most of the speakers talked over time even after crossing the red signal.

10. Marc said somebody snatched his phone and wallet in a subway, so he prefers not to go through subway. Never.

11. One of the table-topics was “What is the preferable number of hours to work in a week?”

The Humor Monologue

1. Good evening toastmaster-of-the-evening, fellow toastmasters, and guest. Wait.. that’s long way to address an audience of 9. I can address you by saying your name.

2. My speeches are unique. I begin my speeches by saying “Thank you. Good bye. Take care.”

3. I want 9 volunteers for my humor monologue. Can you all go out and come back when my monologue is over?

4. [points to “1” written on the board] That’s my IQ. [points to “2” written on the board] Well, that’s my family’s IQ.

5. I know a guy who works only 10 seconds a week. That’s the guy from the subway.

6. First he 1. Follows,then 2. Loots.

7. Good quotations are easy to remember. I think Rens chose all bad quotations.

8. When Ruben called Floris, his phone was ringing “tring tring”. Floris, the TME asked everyone to keep their mobiles in silent mode, no?

9. Today, Rens forgot his whole speech. What he should do is get out of our club… then join again. In short, “Re-member”.

10. Rens may have Alzheimer’s. Stage 1. He forgot his whole speech. Many of our club members have Alzheimer’s too. Stage 3. They forgot to come to the meeting.

11. Most of the speakers were speaking even after crossing red. I think red is their favorite color.

12. Hello everyone. That’s my unique way of closing a speech.

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