Humor Monologue delivered at Toastmasters meeting – May 13, 2015

Read the set-up below and then read the humor monologue.

THE SET-UP (What was said and what happened during the meeting before the monologue was delivered)

1. The host of the meeting asked the audience to clap until the speaker arrives at the stage, not to stop in the midway while he’s walking to the stage.

2. Pierre, a speaker, said, “I went on honeymoon [3 seconds pause] obviously with my wife.” (It got huge laughter)

3. Justina had sore throat and her voice was totally different.

4. In one month time, there is going to be election for officers of the club.

5. Richard said he didn’t know how to enjoy at a night club because he didn’t like it there and he could only pretend that he enjoyed.

6. Bogdan said he joined Toastmasters after reading Brian Tracy’s book (Brian suggested joining Toastmasters club). Bogdan, during his every speech, mentions at least once about Brian Tracy. Bogdan said that after joining Toastmasters, he was inspired by another TM Tobias and wanted to speak like him. Bogdan did his speech on influential speaker series.

7. Justina, Bogdan’s speech evaluator, said that Bogdan always maintains eye contact, always modulates his voice nicely, always influences audience with his speeches.

8. Rens explained about 2 ways of thinking. See picture below. He forgot his whole speech. He walked towards a desk where he kept his speech, see the next line, come to stage, deliver that line, then go back to notes, come back to stage. He kept repeating that.

thinking types

9.Normally the ‘Ah, um’ counter counts the filler words ah, um. Strangely he noted that a speaker used a new filler word ‘Um..kay’.

10. One guest told that it feels weird because we clap while welcoming a speaker to the stage and also clap after he finishes speaking.

The Humor Monologue

1. [The audience are clapping while I walk towards the stage] Well, keep clapping until I finish my speech.

2. [I start speaking this line in lady voice] Good evening ladies & gentle men. Bogdan wanted to speak like Tobias. And I… wanted to speak like Justina.

3. I nominate Justina for the officer role ‘Voice’ president.

4. How to have fun at night club? Just ask Justina. Last night, she had 16 beers and sang loudly together with all songs DJ played. Disclaimer: The next day, you can’t recognize your own voice.

5. I don’t go to night clubs because I am a morning person.

6. [In the thinking-modes picture that Rens drew, I drew a third thinking mode] Rens explained two modes of thinking. He missed the 3rd one.


8. Look at the above diagram again. The one on the right – that’s the number of audience when I begin my speech. The one on the left – the number of audience during my speech.

9. Bogdan always maintains eye contact; Bogdan always modulates his voice; Bogdan always mentions Brian Tracy a 1000 times.

10. Last week, I went on honeymoon… obviously alone. Well, I called someone else’s wife to join me. But I am not that influential.

11. According to comedians, ‘k’ is a funny sound. ‘Cat’ is funnier than ‘Dog’. Maybe that speaker wanted to be funny and changed all his filler words from ‘Ah’, ‘Um’ to ‘Ah..kay’, ‘Um..kay’.

12. Thank you. And if the guests don’t mind, please clap.


2 responses

  1. Well done. Nice book-ends, opening and closing the monologue with the same theme (clapping). You’re right about the K sound. That’s why I changed my name from Inde to Kinde.

    1. Thanks John. I myself didn’t notice that I opened and closed with the same theme. I’m noticing just now. Yeah, nice book-end. I’ll try to do like this in future meetings too. Inde to Kinde. Lol.

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