Humor Monologue delivered at Toastmasters meeting – July 22, 2015

Read the set-up below and then read the humor monologue.

THE SET-UP (What was said and what happened during the meeting before the monologue was delivered)

1. Word of the day was ‘Unexpected’.

2. Tobias, the president of our club, arrived 5 minutes late. He announced that from next week, one of the four entrances to the campus where we meet will be closed and we have to use the other car entrance.

3. The host introduced Chris as ‘lovely’ Chris.

4. Chris talked on a table topic, “What’s the most embarrassing moment of someone that you enjoyed a lot” for which he said that he’s not a person who laughs at others’ misfortunes.

5. Tobias asked all of us to upload our pics to our Toastmasters website so that when some of our friends (who are not toastmasters) visit the website, they will see a familiar face and be willing to join the club.

6. Bogdan said that at the top of Mt. Everest, only 30% oxygen is available. The amount of oxygen decreases as you go up.

7. Bogdan delivered a speech where he acted like a president of a company and he had to announce to everyone about the crisis his company is in. He said that he’s not going to fire his employees, but cut their salary by 10%.

8. One of the table topics was, “How do you react when someone tags you on pics on Facebook.” for which Floris said that just delete your Facebook account.

9. The host described the table-topics as starter, prepared speeches as main course, and the evaluations as dessert.

The Humor Monologue

[The host introduced me as the Observational Humor Master and invited me to the stage]
1. Oooh. That’s unexpected. I didn’t expect to be the Observational Humor Master.

2. I’m not prepared. I don’t have even one joke to say. I’m sure all of you are going to laugh at me… except ‘lovely’ Chris.

3.  The starter is over. The main course is over. The dessert in over. Now comes my speech… the napkin.

4. The president arrived late because he went to all 4 entrances to check whether they’re open.

5. Our company is in crisis. To increase the revenue, we’re not going to fire you; we’re not going to cut your salary; we’re just going to delete your Facebook accounts.

6. I posted my picture on EasySpeak (Toastmasters website). Some of my friends visited the website, recognized me, and said, “Hey, that’s Bala. We should definitely NOT join that club.”

7. Now I know why companies can’t fire employees when they are at the top, but fire when they’re down. Because to fire *anything* you need oxygen.

8. I wish you all a lovely evening.

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2 responses

  1. I’ve been busy with a job security project. I’m moving my office to the top of Mt Everest. That comment is a hot, damp towel.

    1. Haha John. This would’ve made a very good topper.

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