Humor Monologue delivered at Toastmasters meeting – August 5, 2015

Read the set-up below and then read the humor monologue.

THE SET-UP (What was said and what happened during the meeting before the monologue was delivered)

1. Word of the day was ‘progress’. Word of the day 6 weeks ago was also ‘progress’.

2. One of the guests was Debolina. She introduced herself and said “If my name is hard to pronounce, just call me Debi.”

3. All table topics were about science and space.

4. The evaluator said the speakers could move around the stage (not just stand in the same place).

5. Justina used 20*20 powerpoint method. i.e. 20 slides each 20 seconds automated. She kept up with the pace of the slides. She showed 2 slides “Expectation: Audience who’re listening. And reality: sleeping audience.”

6. Her speech evaluator went over time, took 3 minutes and 20 seconds. He said that the text in Justina’s slides were not visible and in light blue color.

7. Floris talked about the alternative for PowerPoint (called impress.js). He finished his speech by saying “That’s the end of PowerPoint era.” His speech evaluator said that a better ending would be “Do you *still* want to use PowerPoint?”

8. Chris was wearing spectacles for the first time.

9. Inna said “Employee attention strategy” instead of “Employee retention strategy”. Her speech evaluator pointed that out.

10. When the toastmaster introduced me as the Observational Humor Master, he said that in 4 weeks the humorous speech contest is coming up and the audience can learn something from my obs. humor speech.

11. One of the guests, Anna, told that she would want to become a member since she was impressed by our club.

The Humor Monologue

1. Good evening toastmasters, guests, and pre-member.

2. I want to have you full retention.

3. I am Balakumar Shanmugam. If it’s hard to pronounce, just call me Debi.

4. If you want to win the humorous speech contest, just listen carefully to my speech, and not follow any of what I do.

5. Toastmasters club is progressing. It’s in Amsterdam. It’s in Eindhoven. It’s in Utrecht. Next, we’ll have one in space.

6. One advice to all speakers: While our scientists are busy exploring *that* space, let’s at least try to explore this space [points to the dias]

7. Word of the day 6 meetings ago was ‘progress’. Word of the day today is ‘progress’. W.r.t the word of the day, it’s time we made some progress.

8. What do the audience expect from me? A *great* speech. Reality? I sleep on stage. I use a lot of space on the stage.

9. Normally Chris doesn’t wear spectacles. But today he knew that Justina was going to use PowerPoint.

10. Justina used 20*20 format. Her speech evaluator went over time. He should’ve used 10*10 format.

11. That’s the end of my speech. Oh wait.. Do you *still* want to listen to my speech?

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