Humor Monologue delivered at Toastmasters meeting – September 16, 2015

From now on, I’m going to explain why a joke did or didn’t work.
You will find the explanation under each joke.
This is to imitate my buddy/mentor John’s blog template (

Read the set-up below and then read the humor monologue.

THE SET-UP (What was said and what happened during the meeting before the monologue was delivered)

1. It was raining heavily the whole day. Generally, it rains on most days in the Netherlands.

2. Floris’ speech topic was TBD (To Be Decided). He gave the audience 3 topics and asked us to choose one.

3. There were 2 guests named Brent and Noor. The host, Justina, asked them to introduce themselves. They started talking together, for which Justina said, “Not together. One after another.”

4. Justina, the host, asked the audience to give a big round of applause whenever the speaker was coming to the stage or leaving the stage. She said she is a big fan of applause.

5. The tabletopic master said that in the year 1752, after Sep 2, Sep 14 appeared in the Gregorian calendar. 11 days were lost. The topic was, “What would you do if you had 11 extra days in an year?”

6. Floris explained the dangers of cloud computing. Maria asked Floris a question: How can I retrieve the data in my laptop (not in the cloud) if my house burns down?

7. Floris also explained that 3D printer can be used to make innovative objects.

8. Most speakers talked over time.

9. Bogdan talked about “Distinguished Club”. He read a letter from Toastmasters America which announced our club as distinguished club. He first said that it’s addressed to him (since he’s the president) but later said, “It’s actually addressed to all of us”.

10. Bogdan also said a story about a rich man and how he planned to get his daughter married. He called all bachelors in the surroundings. He announced a contest. i.e. A pool full of alligators and other dangerous animals. The person who jumps and reaches the other side first can either get 1 million in cash or 1000 acres land or marry his daughter. As soon as he announces one person jumps and reaches the other side. The rich guys asks him whether he wants 1 million. He says no. He asks if he wants 1000 acres land. He says no. He asks if he wants to marry his daughter. He says no. Then what do you want, he asks. I want to know who pushed me into the water.

11. Eindhoven, the city where we live, is in a state called ‘Noord Brabant’.

12. Justina said that sometimes we have barbecue at Toastmasters.

13. In the agenda, there was no 3rd speaker. There were 1st, 2nd, and 4th speaker. The 3rd speaker dropped out.

The Humor Monologue

1. My humor monologue topic is TBD. I give you 3 joke formats. Choose the one you want
     a. Yo mama so fat
     b. A Toastmaster walks into a bar
     c. Why did the chicken cross the road?
(A call-back to TBD. And everyone is familiar with these joke formats and they are funny)

(The audience say ‘Number 2’)
2. Ok, so 3, it is.
(Giving them a choice was just a fake thing since I already decided it’s 3. So they laugh).

3. Why did the chicken cross the road? Someone pushed it.
(A call-back. And you feel pity for the chicken)

4. A Toastmaster walks into a bar. Justina asks everyone to give him a big round of applause.
(A call-back. And clapping for someone in the bar is absurd.)

(I take out a letter from my pocket and show that to the audience)
5. I got this letter. Addressed to me. No, addressed to all of us. [looks closely at the letter] Oh wait. Forget it. It’s a love letter I got from a girl.
(A love letter addressed to many people is absurd)

6. If we had a guest named ‘Debra’, it would’ve been great. [After saying this, I write “De Bra” on the board]
(Huge laughter. They were thinking dirty)

7. [I write ‘Noor’ (a guest’s name) in front of ‘De’ and ‘Brent’ (another guest’s name) next to ‘Bra’. So it looks like ‘Noorde Brabrent’]
That’s our state.
(Huge response. They didn’t see it coming. Also it’s a tension-release joke. Clever word arrangement)

8. Why didn’t the chicken join Toastmasters? Because it heard that we sometimes make barbecue.
(A call back. And you feel pity for the chicken)

9. Floris explained the dangers of cloud. He missed one point. When you’re on the way to Toastmasters, it starts raining heavily.
(Truth. Most members were wet)

10. Maria, don’t worry. Your house will never be on fire. In the Netherlands, it rains 24*7.
(Truth. Though it doesn’t rain everyday in the Netherlands, the comic license allows me to use this line because everyone jokes about raining in England and the Netherlands)

11. If you give me 11 extra days in September, I would rather ask for 11 extra days in June.
(Truth. In September, the weather is not so nice. Good response)

12. What would I like to make with 3D printer? 3d speaker. [I write 3D speaker on board] [Then I add an ‘r’ before ‘d’] 3rd speaker.
(Wordplay joke)

13. Bogdan, I want to reveal a secret. I was the one who pushed you.
(Drop into someone’s story)

14. A lot of speakers went overtime. To finish this meeting, we’ll need extra 11 days.
(Exaggeration joke)

15. All of you, clap now. Not together. One after another.
(A call-back and a silly suggestion. Silly is funny)


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