Humor Monologue delivered at Toastmasters meeting – November 11, 2015

Here is another Observational Humor monologue which was presented at the end of a Toastmasters meeting. First you’ll be able to read the set-up for each joke. Then I’ll share the joke. Next I’ll briefly comment on what made the joke work. Although the examples of Observational Humor are in the context of a Toastmasters meeting, the skills apply just the same to any meeting you might be attending. It’s a useful skill to develop. When you can drop in an observational line into any presentation it makes the content of your whole talk feel fresh and original.

THE SET-UP (What happened and what was said during the meeting before the monologue was presented)
1. Many speakers, when they wanted to refer to Jitske, forgot her name. They had to look at her name plate to recall her name.

2. The grammarian said that I pronounced the word ‘brain’ as ‘brian’.

3. Word of the day was “Timeless”.

4. Pierre evaluated Jitske’s speech. He said Jitske could stand confident and show her breasts. Everybody laughed at what he said. What he intended to say was to bring her breast forward to feel confident.

5. The table topics session was called “Evolution of heroes”, i.e. how human race evolved. The first table topic started with the one-celled organism named “Eukaryote”. It was very fond of sex. Floris, one of the TMs, was called to act like Eukaryote.

6. Tetrapods were the first ones wo walk on land, the table topics master said. It moved from water to land.

7. I was also a table topics speaker. My topic was about Homo Habilis. I said that the word homo means equal and I want an equal world, i.e. No rich, poor difference. No king, common man difference etc.

8. Jitske talked about stress. She said it’s difficult to park indoor in Belgium. And some MALE hit her car and damaged heavily while he was parking his car.

9. The president circulated a notice to everyone with a pic of Santa and reindeer. It was about Christmas ‘Potluck dinner’ on Dec 16. He asked everyone to bring self-made food and share with everyone.

10. Rens had a tough time saying the word ‘Hierarchy’. He tried very hard to say that word in 3 places.

11. Pauline, one of the guests, introduced herself, like, “Hi, I’m Pauline. I’m 34”.

The Humor Monologue
1. Dear Toastmasters, guests, and especially [looking at Jitske’s name plate for 3 seconds] Jitske.
(Running gag)

2. I pronounced brian as brian… because I don’t have a brian.
(Repeating the same mistake thrice. Do what someone says not to do)

3. Pierre, word of the day is “Timeless”. Not “Topless”.
(Huge laughter. Wordplay.)

4. When asked, “How does it feel to be the first one to walk on land?” ironically, Tetrapod told, “It feels like I’m on cloud nine… floating in the air”.
(No laughter at all. I personally like this joke because ironies are mostly funny.)

5. What do you call a Toastmaster with a lot of stress? A great speaker. WORD stress makes him great.
(Pun on ‘stress’)

6. What do you call a Toastmaster with no stress at all? Bala.
(Self deprecation. Also true because for the first 2 yrs at Toastmasters, my speeches would be very flat, with no stress at all)

7. I am revealing a secret. I am a virgin. Now I know what to do to have sex. Go knock the door of the one-celled organism “Eukaryote”… or the one who acted like it, Floris. Keep your door open.
(Joke. Topper. Topper. Joke was self deprecation, i.e. I could only have sex with an organism. The first topper makes use of absurdity. The final topper “Keep your door open” just develops on the first topper. Good response.)

8. I want an equal world. We had our first table topic session “Evolution of heroes.” Now we are going to have “Evolution of heroines”.
(What if heroes denote only male? Made use of that ambiguity to create this joke.)

9. For the potluck dinner, I’m bringing ‘heroine’. I make it myself.
(Joke. Topper. Joke was a call back to heroine and wordplay meaning the drug. The topper worked because it is absurd.)

10. And Santa is bringing Reindeer curry [showing them the picture]
(What if Santa is actually having the reindeer for food? That question lead to this joke.)

11. Last week Toastmasters Floris, Rocky, and I met Rens. He greeted, “Hi Floris. Hi Bala.” But it was rude he didn’t say “Hi Rocky”.
(Wordplay on ‘Hierarchy’. It took few seconds for the audience to get it. So, I paused. Good response.)

12. What does a woman driver need? Car insurance. And what do people on the road need while she drives? Life insurance.
(Truth. Women are poor drivers.)

13. Jitske, I only made a scratch on your car. And you call that a BIG DAMAGE. Girls, huh!
(Drop into someone’s story)

14. Hi Pauline. Nice to know you are 34. I’m 29, single, and a virgin.
(I don’t know why this joke worked. But this was the best line of the monologue. VERY HUGE LAUGHTER. Good to end with a call back to ‘virgin’.

BTW, she was very beautiful, attractive, and the way I like a girl to be. I never miss opportunities like this to flirt with girls. While leaving, she said I was very funny. Tcha! She took my comment as a joke.)

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