Humor Monologue delivered at Toastmasters meeting – May 4, 2016

Here is another Observational Humor monologue which was presented at the end of a Toastmasters meeting. First you’ll be able to read the set-up for each joke. Then I’ll share the joke. Next I’ll briefly comment on what made the joke work. Although the examples of Observational Humor are in the context of a Toastmasters meeting, the skills apply just the same to any meeting you might be attending. It’s a useful skill to develop. When you can drop in an observational line into any presentation it makes the content of your whole talk feel fresh and original.

THE SET-UP (What happened and what was said during the meeting before the monologue was presented)
1. In the meeting hall, photos of Einstein and Mohammed Ali were hanging.

2. Winslow was the Toastmaster of the evening. He printed very limited agendas. He said he wants to save trees. Instead of printing back to back, he printed on 2 papers.

3. Out of 25 members, only 9 were present. There were 4 guests. And all 4 are Indians.

4. Today is Remembrance Day. We observed 2-mins silence to remember those who died during the war.

5. This was our 200th meeting. So Floris gave away free drinks to everyone. And the word of the day was Bicentennial (200th). Floris was wondering how to use this in a normal sentence.

6. Jitske showed us a 15-sec video that showed how McD burgers are made in just 15 seconds.

7. We have officers election next month. The name of the candidates (who nominated themselves) for each role was written on the board, except for the role secretary. No one nominated for that role.

8. Floris was fully drunk.

9. Justina, the grammarian, said that Mike pronounced the word ‘idea’ as ‘ideee’. She also said that Mike said a sentence which makes no sense. That sentence is “This is a club that makes people go home.”

10. One of the table topics was “You want to quit your job. And you have to say that to your boss. How will you say that?” Andrei talked. He chose Tobias to be the boss. Andrei didn’t let the boss speak for the whole 2 mins of his speech.

The Humor Monologue
1. Dear guests, present Toastmasters, and the past toastmasters… Einstein, Mohammed Ali.
(Rule of 3. Also the word “past toastmasters” created tension. And the punchline Einstein, Mohammed Ali released it. Good opener)

2. Winslow. The guy wants to save trees. And he has printed the agenda in 2 papers.
(State the obvious. Huge laughter.)

3. 16 members are absent today. We should thank them. They are saving trees.
(Silly reasoning. Come up with a silly reason as to why so many members were not present.)

4. Today is Remembrance Day. We observe 2-mins silence. I got married couple of months ago. And observing life-long silence.
(Truth. Universal humor. i.e. Men stop talking after marriage.)

5. Andrei was talking to his boss, when his boss was observing 2-mins silence.
(Huge laughter. I was looking for a funny reason as to why the boss didn’t talk. And the 2-mins silence for Remembrance Day perfectly fit this scenario.)

6. We are giving away so much free stuff today. No wonder we have 4 Indian guests.
(Universal truth. Good response.)

7. At Toastmasters, we normally do Sandwich evaluation (what’s good, what’s bad, what’s good). Today, Mike really did evaluate… the McD sandwiches.
(Average response. State the obvious.)

8. To celebrate our 200th meeting, I drank 200 beers… just like Floris did.
(Huge laughter. Everyone noticed that Floris was not normal. I pointed that out in a funny way.)

9. After a couple of drinks, I started shouting “BICENTENNIAL, BICENTENNIAL… BICENTENNIAL”. Floris, this is how you use the word-of-the-day in a normal sentence. 3 times.
(Silly. It’s almost impossible to use the word-of-the-day in a normal sentence.. unless the sentence is something special. Then how could I use the word? Just make the word come out of a drunk man. Simple and silly.)

10. Written on the board is nominations for all officer roles except secretary. That is secret-ary.
(Word play. Good response)

11. Today, we say a 15-sec video of making of a burger. I have a video that runs for 3 years that shows the making of wine.
(Exaggeration. If a 15-sec video shows making of a burger, how long a video has to be to show making of a 3-yr-old wine?)

12. To make our club the best club in the world, I have an ideeeeee.
[After delivering this line, I looked at the grammarian, and acted like I made a mistake. Then I took my ID card from my pocket and showed to the audience)
I have an ID.
(Huge laughter. Word play)

13. Forget making ours the best club. That for later. But now, let’s make this a club where people go home.
(Perfect closer. It was like saying it’s time to go home.)


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