Humor Monologue delivered at Toastmasters meeting – August 24, 2016

Here is another Observational Humor monologue presented at the end of a meeting. We’ll tell you what was said and what happened during the meeting before the monologue was presented.

THE SET-UP. We will give you enough background to help you understand the jokes.
1. The emcee said, “Welcome to the 213th Toastmasters episode, instead of saying 213th Toastmasters meeting.”

2. Mike talked about the Netherlands royal family – King Willem Alexander and Queen Maxima.

3. Few toastmasters forgot to pick their name cards before being seated.

4. A table topic was about 7 habits of highly effective people.

5. Netherlands is famous for drugs. Smoking marijuana is legal here.

6. Rens said a very dark joke. If you put a coin in a machine and get a cigarette, is the cigarette yours or the machine’s? (implicitly comparing that to a woman delivering a child)

7. Rens said, “During tough situations, stay calm. And then the situation will become much much better.”

8. Inna said that you don’t have to work a day if you love your job – meaning that it won’t feel like working.

9. Justina said that she never regretted coming to Toastmasters meetings. She was wearing a short skirt since it was very hot. She said that in the past she couldn’t come skirtless (meaning that she had to cover herself fully because of cold). But the meaning changed – implying that she couldn’t come naked.

10. Word of the day was ‘Profound’.

11. Inna talked about ABZ career plan. i.e. if your plan to go to B from A doesn’t work, then you should have plan Z.

The Humor Monologue
1. Welcome to Season 8, Episode 16.
(Make the mistake that someone already made to get laughs. I added ‘season’ too to ‘episode’)

2. The Netherlands have King Willem Alexander, Queen Maxima. And I am Joker Bala.
(Following the pattern king, queen, joker as in a deck of playing cards)

3. Do not take your name card with you [looking at the people who had no name cards] if you don’t want to get called for the table topics.
(Giving a new definition. Gave a definition to the people who were not having the name card)

4. The table topic for you, Mike, is… Don’t worry, I’m just joking.
(Being arrogant. i.e. I’m planning to give a table topic to someone that had no name plate)

5. I’ve been here at Toastmasters 116 times. I regretted coming here every single time. Because not even once, Justina was skirtless.
(Tension and release technique. Saying that I regret coming to Toastmasters created the tension. Releasing it with a silly reason generated the laughter. Best line of the monologue.)

6. I don’t know what the 7 habits of highly effective people are. But I know the 7 habits of effectively HIGH people [posed like smoking cigarette]
(Word play. I had to pose like smoking because HIGH could also mean people in high status.)

7. No. 1 habit in that list is “Buy your cigarette from a shop, not from a machine.”
(Simple callback. Got good laughter.)

8. Rens said, “Stay calm during tough situation… and the situation will get much much better. Actually, I’m a follower of this principle. A lot of times, I’ve just stayed calm [pause of 3 secs]… until the timer signaled GREEN.
(Self deprecation. Implied punchline. i.e. I would stay calm during my speech and wait until the light turns green.)

9. You don’t have to work a day if you love your job… or born in a Royal family.
(Truth. Callback to the Royal family.)

10. I don’t shake hands with anyone, because I won’t know if the shake is mine or the shake is theirs.
(Callback to cigarette joke. And adapting that to shaking hands.)

11. Word of the day is ‘Profound’. First of all, in using this word, I’m not a PRO, and I was LOST.
(Wordplay. Splitting the word into two and using the antonym of those 2 sub words. Worked very well. Good laughter.)

12. To go back home, take highway A21 or B16. If both are closed, take Z56.
(Callback to ABZ plan. Good closer.)

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