Humor Monologue delivered at Club Contest – September 21, 2016

Tonight we had our club contest. I competed in the Humorous Speech Contest. I also presented Observational Humor Monologue at the end of the contest. We’ll tell you what was said and what happened during the contest before the monologue was presented.

THE SET-UP. We will give you enough background to help you understand the jokes.
1. I was the only contestant in the Humorous Speech Contest. So I won.

2. The contest master said that to be a judge for any of the contests, he/she should have been a member of Toastmasters for at least 6 months.

3. I gave a speech about fear of public speaking. I said that I don’t have fear of public breathing. I also said that I break into strangers’ home and steal/try their clothes. I jokingly said that at the meeting I was wearing Kesh’s shirt, Melanie’s trousers, and Scott’s underwear.

4. The table topic contest topic was about school experience. The contest master first played a school bell and asked the contestants what it sounded like. And then she asked them to speak about their school experience. Scott, one of the speakers, said that in schools he used to drink alcohol a lot.

5. Alex, another table topics contestant, said that he came first in all the examinations in school.

6. Floris showed a pic of all our club members wearing masks.

The Humor Monologue
1. I am the Observational Humor Master. You can laugh at my jokes if you’re a member for at least 6 months.
(Good opener. Adapting 6-months-member-to-be-a-judge fact to the humor theme)

2. I hope you don’t have fear of public laughing.
(Following the pattern. Fear of public speaking. Fear of public breathing.)

3. Alex said that he came first in all the examinations. Alex and I have one thing in common. Alex came first, like how I came first today – without competition.
(Exaggerating that Alex came first because he was the only student in the class)

4. There were actually 3 contestants for the humorous speech contest. The other two couldn’t make it because… I stole their clothes.
(Silly. I asked myself the why question – why were no other speakers, and came up with this silly answer.)

5. Tringgggg. How does that sound, Scott? Hmmm. It’s time for alcohol.
(Since Scott said he used to drink lots of alcohol at school, I linked the tringgg sound with “It’s time for alcohol” sound.)

6. For Scott, every school is ‘High’ school.

7. Kesh, Melanie, and Scott. What?? Do you want your clothes back… now?
(Painting a funny picture – me being naked.)

8. You saw a pic of all of us wearing masks. That picture was taken at a stranger’s house.
(Asking myself the why question – why were we wearing masks. And connected that to the breaking-into-someone’s house thing.)

9. We are Toastmaskers.


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