A look back at the year 2016

Looking back at the year 2016. Here are some of our best jokes.

2016-road

1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1. This is how he turned 43. Happy Birthday, Rahul Dravid.

Leonardo DiCaprio says he wants to play Russian President Vladimir Putin on screen.
Good thinking. HE WILL DECLARE WAR AND GET THAT EFFIN OSCAR.

Kohli can bat at night without lights, says Sunil Gavaskar.
Oh! So, Kohli can bat. And Kohli can be a bat.

Happy Birthday, Simbu. May you be… ep *beep* *beep* *beep*.

IRCTC ties up with OYO Rooms to provide budget accommodation options to train travelers. Nice! Every traveler will get room number 404.. Not Found.

On Amma’s 68th birthday, 68 medical camps set, 68 blood donation camps set, 68 transgenders honored. I’m surprised they haven’t printed 68-rupee note.

Everyone does not go to temple out of devotion, some go to steal slippers, says Kanhaiya Kumar. Well… I go to see the owners of the lady slippers.

Modi’s wax statue added at Madame Tussauds, London. Next year it’ll fly to Madame Tussauds branch in New York, then Bangkok, then Hong Kong…

“My father is Joseph. My mother is Joseph. My brother is Joseph.”
I was like, “Is it a Vijay movie? Or a Kamal movie?” #AllCharactersPlayedByOneActor”

Good news: Gatimaan Express, India’s fastest train, hits tracks today.
Bad news: You still have to book tickets through IRCTC.

Throughout the movie ‘Sachin – A Million Dreams’, Sachin will be a married man. Except between minutes 90 and 100. He’ll be single, single, single..

Salman Khan named ambassador of India’s Olympic contingent? Why? Do other countries’ top Olympians sleep on footpath?

Sania Mirza’s autobiography set to hit stands in July. I think the book won’t sell at all… unless it’s paired with the autobiography of Hingis.

Today is Mother’s Day as well as wife’s birthday. It’s the day of one who knows everything, and the one who NOs everything.

Happy Birthday, Comedy King Goundamani. I hope Senthil is getting the birthday bumps.

Venkatesh Prasad applies for Indian Cricket Team’s Head Coach post. He actually sent the application 6 years ago, but his “delivery is usually very slow”.

Ohh! They’re making a film on Manmohan Singh. The hero is definitely going to live the character. Why? Because all he has to do is – read a script and act like PM.

BCCI announces mini IPL for September. Shorter format. Shorter time window. Okay. How about shorter dresses for cheerleaders?

48 years ago, on this day, Arvind Kejriwal was born. As soon as he was born, his first words were, “Doctor, show me your MBBS certificate.”

Today is Raksha Bandhan, the day when sisters take brothers by the hand TO tie rakhi, and NOT TO steal remote control.

Kamal Haasan to get prestigious French honor. I’m sure he’s getting it for all his incredible, exceptional, magnificent, er… French kisses.

Anna Hazare biopic to hit the screens soon. I suppose there won’t be ice cream, popcorn, or any snack available during the interval.

Durex has launched a new brinjal flavored condom. Hmm! I guess when people buy these in bulk, they will ask for free a couple of coriander and curry leaves flavored condoms.

This new iPhone 7 should be called iPhhone 7. Why? Because it’s water resistant. H2O.

Baby born on Buraq Air flight gets lifetime of free flights. This is not fair at all! I was born in a hospital, AND I DIDN’T GET LIFETIME OF FREE TREATMENT.

A new study says men who have more sex are more likely to pray. Oh! I know why. Because women say “oh my God.. oh my God” while doing it.

No one can make a biopic on Kohli. One can only make a biomegaserial.
That many winning knocks!

Diwali spiritually signifies the victory of light over darkness, good over evil, you over your boss… in getting your leaves approved.

Arnab Goswami resigns from Times Now. Okay. So now, Times Now will just be T_m__ __w. Why? The *Noise* is gone.

Now Samsung washing machines are exploding. Arey! That’s why we should listen to our mom’s advice, “Before you put clothes into washing machine, check pockets.”

500 and 1000 rupee notes banned. How do NRIs look? Oh! So $7.5 notes and $15 notes are banned?

Well done, Mr. Trump. I’m sure you’ll bring change, especially because the Republican party symbol is Elephant. I’ve seen in temples that elephants have plenty of change.

RIP Mr. Cho. I’m sure you’ll be with us even after they burn your body… in air, as C + H + O

Dear Rajinikanth. Happy Birthday. May you bless God.

No liquor shops on National Highways from April 1, Supreme Court orders. Ok da. From now on, let’s just call them National Ways. Why? Because nobody will be *High*.

What was the best thing that happened in 2016?
Demonetization.
And how did we appreciate it?
Almost everyone of us, every day, gave “standing ovation”, in front of ATMs.

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