Humor Monologue delivered at Toastmasters meeting – January 25, 2017

Here is another Observational Humor monologue presented at the end of a meeting. We’ll tell you what was said and what happened during the meeting before the monologue was presented.

THE SET-UP. We will give you enough background to help you understand the jokes.
1. The theme of the meeting was “Think and act responsibly”.

2. Grammarian said that Justina wrongly pronounced the word ‘beloved’ as ‘be-loved’ instead of ‘belo-ved’.

3. Rohit, a member, attended our meeting after 2 years.

4. Mike manages our club’s mailbox. He said that he is a responsible person and checks emails every day to see if any there’s any email from guests who are interested in attending our meetings. He said that he would get disappointed if there was no email from any guest.

5. The bartender (from the bar next door) usually knocks our meeting door and says “I’m leaving”.

6. Mike told a story where a wolf eats grand ma and then dresses up like grand ma to deceive the grand daughter and eat her too. The wolf would ask the grand daughter to take off her clothes and come to bed. Then the little girl would become suspicious, throw her dresses on fire and run away from the house.

7. Rohit said that he was very comfortable 20 yrs ago where he would get pepsi, coke delivered to his home for free.

8. One of the table topics speaker said that her grandfather was the only doctor in his village. Even when he had cancer, he would be responsible and visit every patient’s home.

9. The emcee printed lots of things. He printed evaluation sheet for each speaker, each evaluator, and table-topics speaker and distributed to everyone. We had to fill in a lot.

10. The timer forgot to signal the lights green, orange, red. The light was never switch on for any speaker.

11. One of the table topics was “Who’s your teacher for responsibility?”

The Humor Monologue
1. Dear Toastmasters, guests, and especially our be-loved Justina.
(Simple callback. Rule of three. Good opening line.)

2. Today we did more writing than speaking.
(Truth. Writing a lot in a speaking club is irony.)

3. Shashi (the emcee), think and act responsibly. Save paper and save trees.
(Irony. He chose the theme “Think and act responsible” but he wasn’t acting responsible to the environment.)

4. Rohit was responsible. He saved 50 papers by not attending 50 meetings. Now he has again become responsible. Rohit, GO AWAY!
(Silly logic. Sarcasm.)

5. We have a responsible timer. By not switching on the lights, she saved energy.
(Again sarcasm.)

6. I talk with Mike every morning. The hardest part is I have to create fake email accounts.
(Implied punchline. That to make Mike not get disappointed, I created fake email accounts and send him an email as a guest.)

7. One day, I emailed him, “I HAD work, but not any more. Can I visit your club? By the way, I’m Barrack Obama.” THEN he became suspicious.
(Linking “becoming suspicious” from the story to this.)

8. What a responsible bartender. Every time he knocks the door and says, “I’m leaving”.
(Truth. The audience could relate to that.)

9. On days when he doesn’t knock, I become suspicious. I throw my clothes in fire and start running away.
(Paints a funny picture.)

10. I’m very comfortable at home. Because of free coke delivery. Yes I know lots of drug dealers.
(Play on the word ‘coke’)

11. My grandfather was the only doctor in my village. At least, he was the only one with a fake doctor degree.
(Self-deprecation. i.e. deprecating my own family.)

12. My grandfather is my teacher for responsibility. I have a fake engineer’s degree.
(Self deprecation)


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