Humor Monologue delivered at Toastmasters meeting – September 6, 2017

Here is another Observational Humor monologue presented at the end of a meeting. We’ll tell you what was said and what happened during the meeting before the monologue was presented.

THE SET-UP. We will give you enough background to help you understand the jokes.
1. The theme of the meeting was “Growing every day”.

2. We had 2 guests; both were interns.

3. Karin, the timer, walked all the way from back to the stage to explain her timer role.

4. Herman gave a speech about drawing and composition. He explained warm colors look great and look nearby. He arranged objects (in a picture) in different positions to explain harmony. He finished his speech 3 mins over red.

5. Mike said he went on a hiking camp. He didn’t climb the mountain for 2 days because he was afraid. But on the 3rd day, he did just because it was the last day of the camp.

6. The evaluator said that Shane had his hands inside his pocket while walking to the stage, which was not good.

7. We had too much snacks at the meeting – candies, cakes, biscuits circulating over and over.

8. The general evaluator called the names of every person, told the audience how long they have been member of and appreciated as to how much they’ve improved.

9. Before the president introduced me as the Obs Humor master, lots of TMs interrupted and started asking questions about the upcoming contest, TED meeting in our city, and the Gala we planned in December. I had to wait for at least 5 mins.

10. Jasmin gave a speech about conspiracy theories, like alligators in New York.

The Humor Monologue
1. [shakes hand with the president] Don’t go. I have a question too.
(Good opening. Very fresh humor. Continued from where the audience left, and exaggerating. i.e. I’m trying to interrupt my own speech.)

2. I know it’s rhyming, but every time our president called me Bala, Bala, Herman was asking about Gala, Gala.
(Again very fresh humor. Noticed the rhyming when Herman interrupted. Worked well.)

3. Growing every day. My weight, my debt, and uh mm, my filler words.
(Self deprecation. The first two [weight, debt] were self deprecation in general. And the last one was specific to Toastmasters. I added “uh mm” before it to exaggerate it even more.)

4. If you see green light, you’re doing well. If you see amber, still well. If you see red, Karin will walk all the way to the stage and drag you from here.
(Paints a funny picture. Call back to Karin walking all the way from back to the stage to explain her role.)

5. Herman finished when it was red, because he likes warm colors.
(Associating his speech content with his timing)

6. Like Mike, I didn’t climb the mountain for 2 days. Then finally, I climbed up on the third day, when my wife came down.
(Usual wife roast joke. The punchline is hidden until the end. Diverted the audience. The audience expected that on the 3rd day I got rid of my fear. But I deviated and used “fear of wife” as punchline.)

7. My wife and I like to stay far away from each other, because that way, we create the perfect harmony.
(Callback to Herman’s speech on composition and arranging objects far from each other to create harmony.)

8. One of the biggest conspiracy theory is “Happily married”. Have you ever seen one?
(Again marriage joke.)

9. Shane, kindly give back all the candies, cakes, biscuits you’ve stored in your trouser pockets.
(Associating Shane keeping his hands in his pockets with lots of snacks around the table.)

10. Shaoxiong is with the club for 6 months, improved a lot; Mike is here for 3 years, improved a lot; I’m here for 5 years, improved my skills… in finding my way to Toastmasters meeting hall. Hope next year I can find the place without a navigator.
(Self deprecation. Topper reveals that I still use navigator, which is even more self deprecation)

11. Shane, take your hands off your pockets, and clap for me.
(Callback to Shane keeping his hands in his pockets for a closer.)


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