Tag Archives: bicycle

Humor Monologue delivered at Toastmasters meeting – May 17, 2017

Here is another Observational Humor monologue presented at the end of a meeting. We’ll tell you what was said and what happened during the meeting before the monologue was presented.

THE SET-UP. We will give you enough background to help you understand the jokes.
1. The table topics were about wedding.

2. One of the table topics speakers said that she got 7 beautiful elephants as gift from her husband on her wedding day. Wooden ones.

3. One of the table topics speakers said that in their culture, they freeze a cake for 2 years since wedding and cut later on. The outer part will be very hard, and inside, very soft. They would need an electric knife to cut it.

4. Rens, the emcee, said an inspirational quote, “Whenever you think you’ve reached your limit, you have only put 40% effort. Go an extra mile.”

5. Ana said that her wedding dress was so long.

6. Herman, one of the speakers, talked about Frankenstein, bicycles etc. He mentioned years like 1869, 1875 etc.

7. Shane was referred as the oldest person who is married for a long time (by the Tabletopics master).

8. We had a guest named May.

9. This week was too hot. 27 degrees. Until last week, it was too cold.

10. Most speakers forgot to shake hands with the emcee or the table topics master.

11. I was the last speaker (Obs Humorous Master) and I concluded the meeting.

12. Ana, a speaker, used too many filler words, like “so”, “well”.

The Humor Monologue
1. Good evening Married Toastmasters and Happy Toastmasters.
(Good opener. Universal joke about married people)

2. I proposed to a girl 3 years ago. I was happy when she said, “I do”. Then only I realized that she said “Adieu”.
(Wordplay. Self deprecation. I didn’t say the punchline. I wrote it on the whiteboard to have more effect.)

3. I was caught drunk driving last week. I blame Rens for that. Because he said, “Whenever you think you’ve reached your limit, you’ve only put 40% effort.”
(One of the best lines of the monologue. Fitting an inspirational line in a different context to create absurdity.)

4. The next day, I got a ticket for speeding.
(Continuing on the same theme – going above the limit.)

5. The man who stitched Ana’s wedding gown literally went an extra mile.
(Same theme. Asked myself the question why. Why was her dress long? Punchline: Because the tailor went an extra mile.)

6. Herman mentioned some years during his speech – 1869, 1875… during which Shane was a kid.
(Exaggeration. When the table topics master referred to Shane as the oldest, it got huge laughter. So this line turned out to be one of the best lines of the monologue.)

7. My wife is like that cake in the freezer. She’s a hard person on the outside. But on the inside, she is very soft. Tomorrow, I’m buying an electric knife.
(Mislead the audience. First start by praising and then turn it into a ridicule. Implied punchline that I’m going to cut my wife into pieces. Best line of the monologue.)

8. On my wedding day, I gifted my wife seven… beautiful… cockroaches. Real ones. Not in wood.
(Rule of three. Seven… beautiful… cockroaches. The audience would least expect the third one. Because women are afraid of cockroaches. The topper is the exact opposite of what the speaker said.)

9. I love May. Er, I mean the month. I love May. Because May is hot.
(Another best line of the Monologue. Both the joke and the topper are wordplay. Shock and release technique too. When I said, “I love May (the guest)”, the audience were shocked. I released it by saying “I mean the month”. I followed on that and used another wordplay “May is hot”. It perfectly fit because today was the hottest day of the year.)

10. Ana, you are using the filler words so well.
(Wordplay. This line has two meanings. She indeed used the filler words “so”, “well”. And she used them so well.)

11. I’m happy that I’m the one who’s closing the meeting. Because I don’t have to shake hands.
(Perfect closer. Because “not shaking hands” became a running gag.)


How to sell a bike: Tutorial

By bike, I don’t mean the motor vehicle you are imagining. I mean the bicycle. Bicycles are called pedal bikes or bikes. In this post, I am going to share the funny ad that I gave to sell the cycle and the responses I got.

History of that bike:
It’s a secondhand bike owned by my roommate. He bought it for 50 Euros an year ago. The back tyre is completely gone now. Changing the tyre will cost 30 Euros. So, instead of doing that, he bought another secondhand bike for 45 Euros (which is really good). So, I gave an ad to sell his old cycle. Here is the ad that I gave in ISN.

Ad in ISN:
Hi ISNers,

I would like to sell my bike for 40 Euros. The bike is in good condition, except that you have to change the back tyre. And there is no light.

All gears are working except 2. The rest 1 gear is working perfectly fine. Who needs more than one gear!!

You may also have to change the front tyre in a month. or a day depending upon when you complete 3.6 meters of ride.

Brakes are working perfectly fine. But you have to apply the brakes before 3 hours if you wish to stop somewhere.

The bike has too much demand. There are already 3 guys in queue to buy this bike. But i want to sell it to some good person. So, hurry up.

I have 10 years of biking experience. And I tell you that you will never see such a bike in your entire life. It’s once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

If you need the pics of the bike just let me know. I am a professional photographer. So, be ready to pay. Not much costly. Just 45 Euros for 1024*768 resolution pic. A picture is worth 1000 words you know? 0.45 Euros per word.

Amazing Bike owner

Here is the pic of the bike


Here are some of the responses to the ad.
Response from Srinivasan Narayanasamy:
Hi Bala,

I liked your writing style. Keep it up.
After long time, I am reading an interesting email

Best Regards

Response from Maria Fernanda:
Hi bala,

I would like to see the pic of this bike. I am interested ib buy it


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