IPL is addictive. The kids of these days are learning alphabets like ABCD EFGH IPL. If you’re wondering where that JK had gone, she is currently writing few more Harry Potter books for the same kids.
Actually IPL is not addictive. IPL fantasy league is addictive. In case you don’t know what a fantasy league is, it’s a game in which you can pick any player you want in your fantasy team. If your players play well, your fantasy team will score good points. If they don’t play well, you will just probably break 3 or 4 LCD TVs.
You are addicted to fantasy league when you type ‘f’ in the address bar of your browser and it automatically fills with “fantasy.iplt20.com” instead of “facebook.com”. I mean who will play fantasy league when there are more important tasks like asking your friend for nails, woods, and bricks on farmville and solving a serious murder case on criminal case at the same time.
The last time I played fantasy league was 6 years ago. After such a long time, I had got interest in playing this game. So I created a fantasy team and named it “Baleka Ballelakka”, both words containing my name. I was very sure that my team would perform well because I devised a perfect strategy, picked up the right players, and prayed Lord Vinayaka that I would break 108 LCD TVs in Tiruppathi.
There is a rule in fantasy cricket that I can choose one player from my team as power player and whatever points he scores will get doubled. So it’s really important to choose the best player as power player. In the first couple of days, my power players were performing like IRCTC website. That is I would waste 3 hours watching a screen and believing that some magic would happen. In short, I would appoint a power player, and he would disappoint me.
From the first day of IPL itself, I have been nervous. Every time my player would come out to bat or bowl, I would sit on the edge of the seat. At the same time, I would also ask my friends on Facebook for nails on farmville because I was running out of it after such nail-biting finishes. In fact, I was running out of my friends’ nails too.
First Day of IPL:
Match: KKR vs DD
Watching the match at: My home
Power Player: Jacques Kallis
I was watching the match with full tension. And when Kallis came into bat, I started biting nails. My friends were warning me, “How many times we have to tell you? Don’t bite the nails da. If you do, your grand father’s photo will fall down from the wall.”
This fantasy cricket has been eating all my time. I have been spending most of my time devising strategies. In the morning, I would wake up to read the news to see if any of my players got injured (In case injured, I should substitute with some other player). Such injuries would worry me a lot. Even the players’ mothers wouldn’t be worried that much.
Another important thing that is time consuming is analyzing the T20 records of all players and their recent form. I had every data on my finger tip. And it was paining a lot since I didn’t have nail on my fingers.
My mind would always be thinking about IPL and my fantasy players. Some of my mind thoughts are
“Who should be the power player for tonight’s game? Gayle? Kohli? Narine? Unadkat? Gambhir?”
“Probably I should toss a coin and choose one of them.”
“Oh wait, a coin only has two sides.”
“May be I should throw a pentagon up.”
“But where will I go for a pentagon?”
“Or maybe I should knock on 5 consequent house doors and whoever first opens the door will be asked the question: Who should be my power player?”
“And tell them knock knock knock knock knock jokes.”
My creative mind had gone blank because of these IPL thoughts. The most creative thing that I could come up with in the last one week was suggesting my friend Murali to put more salt in the Chicken Curry that he made. He told me that I was wrong and continued to say that it was Murungaikka kara kuzhambhu, not chicken curry.
Idea: Maybe I should toss murungaikka kara kuzhambu to select my power player. That way I’d end up with the right power player and a friend with kuzhambu-smelling hair.
Couple of days ago, I was watching the match between MI and DD. My power player Sachin got out for just one run. It was such a big blow. I couldn’t digest that. So I took a heavy stick and broke the LCD TV into countless pieces. Everyone was shocked. But I, somehow, managed to run away from that shop where I was watching the game. All I could hear, while running, was some people shouting, “Nail him… Nail him.”
But I am happy that someone has now got a “real” criminal case to solve – “Who is that serial LCD TV breaker?”