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Humor Monologue delivered at Toastmasters meeting – June 28, 2017

Here is another Observational Humor monologue presented at the end of a meeting. We’ll tell you what was said and what happened during the meeting before the monologue was presented.

THE SET-UP. We will give you enough background to help you understand the jokes.
1. One of the table-topics was “Are you for human cloning, or against it?”

2. Shane, the emcee, told that he rushed from office to reach the meeting on time. One of the members jokingly said, “Happy that you reached safely.”

3. Shripad, a TM, brought Manoj, a guest, to the meeting. Shripad said that he has been motivating Manoj for an year to visit a TM meeting. Everyone laughed.

4. One of the guests performed Ah Counter role.

5. One of the speeches’ topic was “Talking is silver. Silence is golden.”

6. The word of the day was “Silver lining”.

7. The emcee described the table-topics as starters, prepared speeches as main course, and the evaluations as dessert.

8. Shaoxiong gave a speech about Chinese and why they don’t actually show interest in spending time in seeing places, but rather just take pictures everywhere.

9. The grammarian said that a speaker used “pretty much always”. He asked the speaker to either use “pretty much” or “always”.

10. One of the speakers said that his second love is his guitar.

11. The grammarian said that the emcee used so many words unnecessarily.

The Humor Monologue
1. Shane rushed from office, met with an accident, and admitted to hospital. This is his clone.
(Tension and release technique. Good opener – something about the emcee)

2. Shane, you used a lot of words unnecessarily. Don’t clone your words.

3. My jokes are pretty much always not funny.
(Say something that someone says not to say)

4. Still. Say ‘Ha’, clone it multiple times. In short, say ‘HaHaHaHa’.
(Indirectly asking them to laugh out loud at my jokes. Silly)

5. 28th June 2016 – an important day in the Toastmasters history. That’s the day when Shripad started motivating Manoj.
(Very well received. Raise audience expectation, lead them in one way, and then deviate from that way towards the punchline.)

6. The table-topics were starters, prepared speeches – main course, and evaluations – dessert. Here’s the Bill [hands over a piece of sheet to emcee]
(This is a tested joke, which I previously used in another TM meeting when the same situation happened)

7. Talking is silver. Silence is lining.
(Mixing word of the day with the speech title. Good laughter)

8. This week, we have a guest doing the “Ah Counter” role. Next week, we’ll have a guest doing the “Toastmaster of the evening”. And the week after, a guest will be our club’s president.
(Joke was exaggeration to some extent. Topper is even more exaggeration. Very well received.)

9. [remained silent for 5 seconds]
[Then I showed a paper where it’s written – “This is a golden joke”]
(Adapted the “Silence is golden” to the humor monologue theme)

10. My second love is my guitar. My first love is of course my wife…’s guitar.
(Deviate from the expected. Audience expect me to say “wife”. Deviate from that and add “‘s guitar” after a slight pause.)

11. Whenever someone takes a photograph, he would say “Say cheese”. Now I realize it’s actually “Say Chinese”.
(Word play)

12. My wife has been thinking of joining Toastmasters. I’m afraid she will. Shripad, can you motivate her to join our club?
(Best line of the monologue. Since Shripad motivating Manoj took him 1 year to convince him, and that already got huge laughter, this line turned out to be the best line of the monologue)

13. Bye Bye. Yes, I did clone Bye.
(Recalling the cloning thing for third time. Good closer)

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