Note: This is a speech I delivered at Toastmasters meeting from “Humorously Speaking series”
Road trips are fun. Last summer, 2 of my friends and I decided to do a road trip to cover 50 kms by bike (bicycle). The first thing and the most important thing you need to do for a bike trip is “Bragging on Facebook”. I updated my Facebook status “Doing a road trip by bike. 275 kms. Feeling excited”.
There are 3 ways to do a bike trip:
1. Ride all the way by bike, take selfies, and post on Facebook.
2. Take a bus, go to the destination, borrow a bike from someone for 3 minutes, take selfies, and post on Facebook.
3. Photoshop… and post pics on Facebook.
We 3 friends decided to do the first option. But 3 ain’t a lucky number for me. So, I decided to invite my friend Ravi to make the count as 4.
“Hey Ravi, we are doing an awesome, fun-filled, exciting bike trip. Want to join?”
I tried in many ways to convince him, but he didn’t say yes. Finally, found a way to get him in our trip.
“Ravi, we’re doing 50 kms. And all the way, there are going to be 1000 beautiful girls.”
“Count me in.”
We started from Eindhoven. We covered 25 kms and reached the destination. We saw not even ONE girl all the way. Ravi was disappointed. I consoled him, “Look. Maybe we took the road less traveled. That’s why no one is there in this road. While going back, let’s take another route.”
On our way back to Eindhoven, we covered almost 10 kms, and still no sign of a girl showing up on our way. Only 15 kms to go. That’s when this surprising thing happened.
Madhav, Krishna – two other friends – were going 100 feet ahead of me. Ravi was just coming behind me. At that time, I heard a loud noise *BANNNGGGG*. I turned to see what it was. Ravi was lying flat on the ground (with his face downwards).
I went up to Ravi and told, “I know we did 40 kms and are tired. But this ain’t the place to sleep and take rest.”
He looked angrily at me. I then said, “I know it rained heavily an hour ago and the road is full of water. But this ain’t the time to swim. Get back on the bike.”
That time, I noticed blood coming from his chin. I thought of asking him “Why did he pour beetroot juice all over his chin”, but it wasn’t time to joke.
I took him to the nearby tree and asked him to rest against it. I shouted “Maaadhaaavvv”, “Krrrisshhnaaa”. “Come soon. Ravi is injured.” They came immediately.
Suddenly, to our shock, Ravi passed out for 10 to 20 seconds. We were not sure what to do because that was the first time we saw someone passing out. Luckily, he came back to consciousness.
I kept giving Ravi some hope, “Don’t give up buddy… stay conscious.. we are going to see loads of good-looking girls.” We gave him some water. He drank and looked bit relaxed.
A car crossed by and stopped after seeing us. To our surprise, 4 girls got out of the car. The girl who was leading them came nearby and asked, “What’s going on?”
WOW!!! She is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.
I explained to her everything that happened.
“Don’t worry. I’m a doctor,” she said.
“I think, an ibuprofen, a paracetamol, an anacin, a metacin will cure his illness.” I tried to talk her language.
But she didn’t listen to what I said and was taking a look at Ravi’s injury. She asked him to keep his head still and not move to left and right.
WHY ON EARTH WOULD HE MOVE HIS HEAD WHEN HE HAS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN SITTING IN FRONT OF HIM???!!!!
She asked me to call the emergency and ask for ambulance. I asked her, “What’s the emergency number?”
“112,” she replied.
“Ok. What’s YOUR number?” I wanted to make use of that opportunity.
She didn’t listen to me and was still taking a look at his injury.
I moved further away, called 112, and arranged an ambulance. Then I came back to the place where they were there. Ambulance would arrive in 15 minutes. We were chit chatting with those girls during that time. Those girls were saying that they were actually on the way to a bachelor party.
“Who is getting married?” I asked.
All of them pointed their finger at the most beautiful doctor girl.
*crackkk* My heart broke. I held my hands on my heart and said in pain, “Call another ambulance.”
By bike, I don’t mean the motor vehicle you are imagining. I mean the bicycle. Bicycles are called pedal bikes or bikes. In this post, I am going to share the funny ad that I gave to sell the cycle and the responses I got.
History of that bike:
It’s a secondhand bike owned by my roommate. He bought it for 50 Euros an year ago. The back tyre is completely gone now. Changing the tyre will cost 30 Euros. So, instead of doing that, he bought another secondhand bike for 45 Euros (which is really good). So, I gave an ad to sell his old cycle. Here is the ad that I gave in ISN.
Ad in ISN:
I would like to sell my bike for 40 Euros. The bike is in good condition, except that you have to change the back tyre. And there is no light.
All gears are working except 2. The rest 1 gear is working perfectly fine. Who needs more than one gear!!
You may also have to change the front tyre in a month. or a day depending upon when you complete 3.6 meters of ride.
Brakes are working perfectly fine. But you have to apply the brakes before 3 hours if you wish to stop somewhere.
The bike has too much demand. There are already 3 guys in queue to buy this bike. But i want to sell it to some good person. So, hurry up.
I have 10 years of biking experience. And I tell you that you will never see such a bike in your entire life. It’s once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
If you need the pics of the bike just let me know. I am a professional photographer. So, be ready to pay. Not much costly. Just 45 Euros for 1024*768 resolution pic. A picture is worth 1000 words you know? 0.45 Euros per word.
Amazing Bike owner
Here is the pic of the bike
Here are some of the responses to the ad.
Response from Srinivasan Narayanasamy:
I liked your writing style. Keep it up.
After long time, I am reading an interesting email
Response from Maria Fernanda:
I would like to see the pic of this bike. I am interested ib buy it