Humor Monologue delivered at Toastmasters meeting – May 18, 2016

Here is another Observational Humor monologue which was presented at the end of a Toastmasters meeting. First you’ll be able to read the set-up for each joke. Then I’ll share the joke. Next I’ll briefly comment on what made the joke work. Although the examples of Observational Humor are in the context of a Toastmasters meeting, the skills apply just the same to any meeting you might be attending. It’s a useful skill to develop. When you can drop in an observational line into any presentation it makes the content of your whole talk feel fresh and original.

THE SET-UP (What happened and what was said during the meeting before the monologue was presented)
1. One of the speeches was about coffee ad how it keeps one awake. The evaluator, Floris, said that coffee is his second favorite drink next to beer. At the last meeting, when he gave a speech, he was fully drunk.

2. The president announced that Bogdan, one of the club members, was featured in the last month’s TM magazine.

3. I talked on a table topic – Debate on why we need beach sand in the campus where we gather for TM meetings. The ah-um counter said that I used the filler word ‘and’ and connected almost all the sentences together.

4. I was the general evaluator and I said, “I am going to evaluate the meeting as a whole”. The grammarian said “meeting as a whole” is not correct use, and instead, I could use “summary of the meeting”

5. One of the guests, Scott, said that he watched his cousin speak in public very well. His cousin suggested Toastmasters to him, so he visited us as a guest.

6. One of the table topics was you’re stuck in an island alone. You need to escape, and how would you do. The speaker said that he’ll write “H.E.L.P” on sand, so that someone flying up could see.

The Humor Monologue
1. Good evening toastmasters, guests, and my cousin Scott.
(Call back to cousin. Drop into someone’s story. Rule of three)

2. And you are going to hear Observational Humor Sentence.. and…
(Callback to me connecting all sentences with ‘and’. So Observational Humor Sentence.)

3. Even if you drink 100 cups of coffee, you can’t stay awake, when I am giving a speech.
(Self deprecation)

4. I saw Bogdan in the TM magazine. He was posing next to sand to his right side where it’s written “H.E.L.P” Helllpppp.
(Paints a funny picture. That kind of picture getting featured in TM magazine is funny. Huge laughter.)

5. Okay okay. I’m just kidding. The sand was to his left side.
(Shift the focus. The focus was on “HELP”. Shift that to “right side”. Okish response.)

6. You can find me in a lot of pics where I’ve posed next to the text written on sand “H.E.L.P”. All those pics are on my wedding album.
(Paints a funny picture. Superiority theory – audience feel pity for me. I’ve been doing at least one marriage joke in the last 4 or 5 meetings.)

7. Yes, on that day, I debated on why I needed sand on the wedding hall.
(Perfectly matches the table topic that I talked on. Good callback)

8. My second favorite speaker is Floris. And my first favorite speaker is Floris… when he is drunk.
(Unexpected punchline. Best line of the monologue. Got huge laughter. Everyone noticed that Floris was drunk at the last meeting and hence this line made sense)

9. Jitske (the ah-um counter). You have hearing problem. I didn’t say ‘and’ ‘and’ ‘and’. I said, ‘sand’ ‘sand’ ‘sand’.
(Silly way to cover my mistake. Huge laughter.)

10. All of you, have a safe trip back home. And watch the ‘hole’.
(Callback to ‘whole’. Nice closer.)

Humor Monologue delivered at Toastmasters meeting – May 4, 2016

Here is another Observational Humor monologue which was presented at the end of a Toastmasters meeting. First you’ll be able to read the set-up for each joke. Then I’ll share the joke. Next I’ll briefly comment on what made the joke work. Although the examples of Observational Humor are in the context of a Toastmasters meeting, the skills apply just the same to any meeting you might be attending. It’s a useful skill to develop. When you can drop in an observational line into any presentation it makes the content of your whole talk feel fresh and original.

THE SET-UP (What happened and what was said during the meeting before the monologue was presented)
1. In the meeting hall, photos of Einstein and Mohammed Ali were hanging.

2. Winslow was the Toastmaster of the evening. He printed very limited agendas. He said he wants to save trees. Instead of printing back to back, he printed on 2 papers.

3. Out of 25 members, only 9 were present. There were 4 guests. And all 4 are Indians.

4. Today is Remembrance Day. We observed 2-mins silence to remember those who died during the war.

5. This was our 200th meeting. So Floris gave away free drinks to everyone. And the word of the day was Bicentennial (200th). Floris was wondering how to use this in a normal sentence.

6. Jitske showed us a 15-sec video that showed how McD burgers are made in just 15 seconds.

7. We have officers election next month. The name of the candidates (who nominated themselves) for each role was written on the board, except for the role secretary. No one nominated for that role.

8. Floris was fully drunk.

9. Justina, the grammarian, said that Mike pronounced the word ‘idea’ as ‘ideee’. She also said that Mike said a sentence which makes no sense. That sentence is “This is a club that makes people go home.”

10. One of the table topics was “You want to quit your job. And you have to say that to your boss. How will you say that?” Andrei talked. He chose Tobias to be the boss. Andrei didn’t let the boss speak for the whole 2 mins of his speech.

The Humor Monologue
1. Dear guests, present Toastmasters, and the past toastmasters… Einstein, Mohammed Ali.
(Rule of 3. Also the word “past toastmasters” created tension. And the punchline Einstein, Mohammed Ali released it. Good opener)

2. Winslow. The guy wants to save trees. And he has printed the agenda in 2 papers.
(State the obvious. Huge laughter.)

3. 16 members are absent today. We should thank them. They are saving trees.
(Silly reasoning. Come up with a silly reason as to why so many members were not present.)

4. Today is Remembrance Day. We observe 2-mins silence. I got married couple of months ago. And observing life-long silence.
(Truth. Universal humor. i.e. Men stop talking after marriage.)

5. Andrei was talking to his boss, when his boss was observing 2-mins silence.
(Huge laughter. I was looking for a funny reason as to why the boss didn’t talk. And the 2-mins silence for Remembrance Day perfectly fit this scenario.)

6. We are giving away so much free stuff today. No wonder we have 4 Indian guests.
(Universal truth. Good response.)

7. At Toastmasters, we normally do Sandwich evaluation (what’s good, what’s bad, what’s good). Today, Mike really did evaluate… the McD sandwiches.
(Average response. State the obvious.)

8. To celebrate our 200th meeting, I drank 200 beers… just like Floris did.
(Huge laughter. Everyone noticed that Floris was not normal. I pointed that out in a funny way.)

9. After a couple of drinks, I started shouting “BICENTENNIAL, BICENTENNIAL… BICENTENNIAL”. Floris, this is how you use the word-of-the-day in a normal sentence. 3 times.
(Silly. It’s almost impossible to use the word-of-the-day in a normal sentence.. unless the sentence is something special. Then how could I use the word? Just make the word come out of a drunk man. Simple and silly.)

10. Written on the board is nominations for all officer roles except secretary. That is secret-ary.
(Word play. Good response)

11. Today, we say a 15-sec video of making of a burger. I have a video that runs for 3 years that shows the making of wine.
(Exaggeration. If a 15-sec video shows making of a burger, how long a video has to be to show making of a 3-yr-old wine?)

12. To make our club the best club in the world, I have an ideeeeee.
[After delivering this line, I looked at the grammarian, and acted like I made a mistake. Then I took my ID card from my pocket and showed to the audience)
I have an ID.
(Huge laughter. Word play)

13. Forget making ours the best club. That for later. But now, let’s make this a club where people go home.
(Perfect closer. It was like saying it’s time to go home.)

Humor Monologue delivered at Toastmasters meeting – April 20, 2016

Here is another Observational Humor monologue which was presented at the end of a Toastmasters meeting. First you’ll be able to read the set-up for each joke. Then I’ll share the joke. Next I’ll briefly comment on what made the joke work. Although the examples of Observational Humor are in the context of a Toastmasters meeting, the skills apply just the same to any meeting you might be attending. It’s a useful skill to develop. When you can drop in an observational line into any presentation it makes the content of your whole talk feel fresh and original.

THE SET-UP (What happened and what was said during the meeting before the monologue was presented)
1. One of the guests (3rd time guest) said that his membership is in progress.

2. Our name tags were handwritten. But today, Inna printed our names out and brought ’em to the meeting. We replaced the handwritten ones with the printed ones.

3. The theme was mentioned as “TBD”. I was the Toastmaster-of-the-evening. I jokingly said TBD means “Theme Boycotting Academy”.

4. The fridge at our club is broken. A new one has to be bought for 150 euros. So there was a debate whether to spend on buying a fridge and whether to continue giving free drinks.

5. Every TM voted for “Free drinks or not.” Floris, one of the TMs, was absent. Winslow said that Floris is strongly towards free drinks and he is always in favor of it. He also said that there is nothing called free drinks since anyway the drinks are paid from the subscription fee.

6. One of the speakers talked about Hitler.

7. One speaker told an inspiring story. A small boy managed to break an unbreakable thing with bare hands. When someone wondered how he did it, another person said, ” There was no one to tell him that he couldn’t do it.”

8. Winslow said that the only exercise he does is jumping from the couch when his favorite team scores points. During his speech, he showed a video of some sports and them scoring points.

9. Two of the prepared speakers were absent.

10. Mike said that his neighbor couple always fight with one another.

11. One speaker said how Dale Carnegie wrote the book “How to win friends”. All his speeches were compiled and evolved into a book.

The Humor Monologue
1. Dear guests, members, and members-in-progress.
(Rule of three. Not-so-good response)

2. Two of the prepared speakers are absent. It’s because of Inna. She didn’t print their name tags.
(Silly reasoning. Silly is funny.)

3. No, I’m just kidding. You can see “TBD” printed as speech title in the agenda. TBD just means “They Boycott Drinks.”
(Silly expansion for TBD)

4. Mike, you’re so rude. I’m moving to a new house. My new house is the broken fridge at our club.
(Drop into someone’s story – meaning that I was Mike’s neighbor. I paused for more than 5 seconds after that line. Laughter slowly came. The line “I’m moving to a new house” aroused curiosity. Then the topper “living in a fridge” is absurd and paints a funny picture.)

5. Floris came at 6 o’ clock, took his free drink, and went back.
(Silly. Also paints a funny picture. Since someone said that Floris is strongly in favor of free drinks, just coming before the meeting, having the free drink, and going back is funny.)

6. Hitler said to his people, “Those who are in favor of free drinks, stand on this side. And those who aren’t, please stand in front of the cannon.”
(Superiority theory. The audience will feel superior to the people who are not in favor of free drinks.)

7. I once gave a speech at this club. That was my first speech. There were 20 people in the audience. I did a very good job. Because at the end of the speech, there was no one to tell me that I couldn’t do it. No one.
(Unexpected twist. Self deprecation. The setup is long, but broken into very short sentences. That built nicely towards the punchline. The punchline is just a recall to the inspiring line from the story. Instead of inspiring, it is used as self deprecating line here. Excellent response.

8. That inspired me to write a book. “How to lose friends.”
(Self deprecation. Best line of the monologue. Audience started laughing even before I said the name of the book. They were laughing for more than 30 seconds. Even I couldn’t control laughter. I laughed myself. Then the name of the book got even more laughter. Out of the 80 monologues I’ve done so far, this line got the best laughter.

After the meeting was over, one of the guests told me that this line was great and had him in tears. He said that normally a comedian shouldn’t laugh when he tells jokes, but in this case, when I laughed, it magnified the laughter from the audience, he said.)

9. I disagree. There is something called “free drinks”. It’s free… for the guests.
(Truth. The guests don’t pay anything, but get free drinks.)

10. When Winslow showed the video, I was like, “Where is cricket in this video?”
(Truth. Indians watch cricket a lot. Average response.)

11. I was strongly in favor of free drinks. Because the only exercise I do is opening and closing the fridge.
(Silly. Call back. Moderate laughter.)

12. But now I’ve changed my decision. I am against it. Because then I’ll have to move home again.
(Call back to my own joke. Nice closer.)

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