Humor Monologue delivered at Toastmasters meeting – January 27, 2016

Here is another Observational Humor monologue which was presented at the end of a Toastmasters meeting. First you’ll be able to read the set-up for each joke. Then I’ll share the joke. Next I’ll briefly comment on what made the joke work. Although the examples of Observational Humor are in the context of a Toastmasters meeting, the skills apply just the same to any meeting you might be attending. It’s a useful skill to develop. When you can drop in an observational line into any presentation it makes the content of your whole talk feel fresh and original.

THE SET-UP (What happened and what was said during the meeting before the monologue was presented)

1. Winslow said that innovation is all around us.

2. Shane said that he’s afraid of speaking in public. He said he would try to control himself while he speaks… and when he gets nervous, the ground would swallow him.

3. Mike talked about surviving after a plane crash. He said, “Eat sea cucumber. Drink own urine if needed.”

4. Pauline said she likes breaking things.

5. One of the table topics was “How to get world peace”. Another table topic was “What’s the headlines tomorrow?”

6. Winslow asked the audience to raise hands if we had New Year resolution.

7. Winslow said he blushes only when in public, not when he is alone.

8. The light used by the timer (me) stopped working for 5 minutes.

9. Floris said that a guy built the model for “Gugenheim Bilbao” museum just using paper. That was an amazing innovation.

10. Fabi pointed out the mishap that happened during the Miss Universe contest. A contestant from Columbia was mistakenly crowned Miss Universe for 2 minutes. And then later taken back.

11. Three table topics speakers finishd their speeches in 1.35 minutes. When I reported that, the audience laughed.

12. The 3rd speaker Anna was absent.

13. Word of the day was pundit (a person who makes comments or judgement)

The Humor Monologue
1. Dear Toastmasters, guests, and Mr. Innovation. Because Innovation is all around us, no.
(Weakest line of the monologue)

2. The 3rd speaker Anna is not here. The ground swallowed her.
(A callback to ground swallowing someone. Decent laughter)

3. When I speak, I control myself. I mean, I ‘con’ myself. And I ‘troll’ myself.
(Wordplay. Self deprecation. I had to pause a little longer for this joke to work)

4. During the break, some people drank beer, some drank coke. I drank my own urine.
(Self deprecation. Again, I had to pause a little longer for the laughter to come)

5. Pauline likes breaking things. So, give her the world, and we will get world peace. And I am a PUNdit.
(Word play. With the topper as the word of the day)

6. Pauline, you are going to love your first speech – The ice BREAKER.
(Again wordplay)

7. It’s no wonder when Rens invited Pauline to stage for evaluating Mike’s speech, he said, “Give your PIECE of evaluation.”
(Series of wordplay jokes)

8. I didn’t raise hands when Winslow asked if someone has New Year resolution, because my resolution is “Not to raise hands”. So far so good.
(Absurdity. Just tried to come up with a silly excuse for why I don’t have a resolution. And topper “so far so good” from the joke “I aim to live forever”.)

9. I would’ve failed if Winslow had asked “Who wants to have free food?”
(Self deprecation that I’m always ready to eat free food)

10. Tomorrow’s headlines is going to read, “Mr. India, Bala, after being crowned, ran away from the auditorium… within 2 minutes”.
(Paints a funny picture. Implying that they wrongly crowned me as Mr. India and I wanted to keep the crown, so I ran away).

11. Winslow, when you are the ONLY survivor of a plane crash, don’t worry. Look on the bright side. You won’t blush.
(Truth)

12. The light, for a moment, didn’t work. I was thinking of alternatives.
For green -> Sea cucumber
For amber -> A Dutchman (since Dutch wear orange dress)
For red -> Blushing Winslow
(Recall to blushing winslow. Follows the pattern of three)

13. When the guy built “Gugenheim Bilbao” museum using paper, a lot of people looked at it and wondered, “IT’S UNBELIEVABLE… AND FUNNY TOO. Mr. India ran away from the auditorium???”
(Recall to Mr. India joke. Museum made of paper – what paper it could be? Used the option – the paper where the headlines was about me)

14. Going by tonight’s trend, I am finishing my speech in 1 minute and 35 seconds.
(Recall to a funny fact. Nice closer)

Humor Monologue delivered at Toastmasters meeting – January 13, 2016

I wish you all a very Happy New Year.
I’m starting this year with this good news – I’m getting married on Feb 10. :) And this bad news – I’m going to miss the TM meeting on that day. :(

Okay. Here is another Observational Humor monologue which was presented at the end of a Toastmasters meeting. First you’ll be able to read the set-up for each joke. Then I’ll share the joke. Next I’ll briefly comment on what made the joke work. Although the examples of Observational Humor are in the context of a Toastmasters meeting, the skills apply just the same to any meeting you might be attending. It’s a useful skill to develop. When you can drop in an observational line into any presentation it makes the content of your whole talk feel fresh and original.

THE SET-UP (What happened and what was said during the meeting before the monologue was presented)
1. The president announced that I’m getting married on Feb 10.

2. Winslow talked about idioms. He gave examples like “Hell froze over”, ” Thanks awfully”, “The Big Cheese”. He told that at our club, the idiom “The Big Cheese” will refer to the president of our club.

3. I was supposed to open the meeting hall before the meeting started. I was late, so our meeting started 15 minutes late at 7pm.

4. The clock in the meeting hall stopped, and it showed 6:43.

5. Rohit, one of the Toastmasters, was at the meeting after one year.

6. Pepe, one of the guests, was called to speak on a table topic. He started by saying, “This is my first time. I apologize upfront.”

7. Another table topic was about a guy who was ordered to go to jail, then he appealed, got out, and participated in one of the famous relay events.

8. Rens used the following sentence in his speech. “Kidnap someone, blindfold him, and drop him in any country.” He finished his speech by saying “Thank you”. I evaluated his speech. I asked him not to thank the audience, but finish with a strong closing line, be confident, and signal to the toastmaster to take the floor back.

9. Rens said that Microsoft copies from Apple.

10. One of the speakers said that charisma is half inborn and half acquired.

The Humor Monologue
1. Dear Toastmasters, guests, and the big cheese.
(A simple call back to the big cheese, which got laughs several times during the meeting)

2. You might have thought that we started a bit late. But no, we didn’t. We still have 2 minutes [points to the clock that shows 6:43].
(Absurdity. Making use of the clock that stopped.)

3. We started at 6:43. And now we are finishing at 6:43. In short, Toastmasters meeting froze over.
(A callback to “Hell froze over”. And I asked myself the question what if we start and finish the meeting at the same time and arrived at this punchline).

4. New year. New faces. We just need a new battery.
(Play on words. It was new year. We had 5 new guests. Using rule of three, added the obvious observation as punchline)

5. Last year, I got prison sentence. But I appealed, got out, and joined Toastmasters. I gave my first speech. I couldn’t even say a word.. I was like bah.. bah… bah. In short, I did the same at jail and Toastmasters – I didn’t start my sentence.
(Play on the word ‘sentence’)

6. Rohit, it’s good to see you after ONE year. Hope you had a good time in prison.
(Superiority theory. Audience will feel superior to Rohit. It worked because prison was fresh on the minds of the audience)

7. I’m getting married on Feb 10. At my wedding, I’ll use the same technique that Pepe used. I’ll tell my wife, “This is my first time. I apologize upfront.” I’ll tell the same to her that night too.
(Absurdity. Normally one will not get married multiple times. And the topper is self deprecation that I’m virgin)

8. Kidnap a Toastmaster, blindfold him, and drop him in any country. He will find a local Toastmasters club.
(Truth. When Toastmasters move to a different place, they join a local TM club)

9. If you’re kidnapping me and dropping me in another country, please kidnap and drop my passport too.
(Silly request. To move back to my home country, I’ll need a passport)

10. If you’re planning to kidnap me, please kidnap me at my wedding.
(There were some jokes about wedding at the meeting that getting married is a punishment. So, this line worked)

11. For Microsoft, charisma is half inborn and half copied from Apple.
(Truth. Callback to two lines – the one about charisma, and the one about MS copying Apple)

12. Thank you… awfully.
(Shock and release technique. Because I advised not to finish a speech by saying thank you. Since I said thank you, it was bit of a shock. I released it by calling back the idiom “Thank you awfully”)

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